Loving Yourself

rnLoving Yourselfrn rnSomeone said to me recently that it was selfish to love yourself; that we should put others first. Alot of us have problems saying "I love myself" because it sounds silly and vain and yet we can say it to our partners, our parents, our family and our friends. Some of us can even say it to chocolate! What is so hard about us loving ourselves? Other people tell us that they love us, so there must be something lovable about us! However, a lack of self esteem can stop us believing this. We need to learn to accept ourselves as we are, to stop criticising ourselves, to stop comparing ourselves to others, to acknowledge how far we have come and what we have achieved, to be truthful to ourselves and our feelings, and to be kinder to ourselves. I used to find that when I was in a "not loving myself" state and when someone told me they loved me, it made me feel worse, even more unworthy than I already felt. I used to read self help books and would look in the mirror and say, "I love you" but I never meant it. It only became true for me when I reached an all time low in my life. I looked back over what I had been through and then I went even further back. I started to realise that everything that had occurred in my recent past was because I had allowed it to happen. Everything I did was my choice and what I had chosen to do was to give my control to others. And for many years I had blamed everyone else for why my life was the way it was. When this struck me; that I was completely responsible for my life, for my decisons, it was like a huge weight lifted from me. It was ok to make a mistake, it was ok to get fed up, it was ok to have a bad day, it was ok to cry; there wasn't anything wrong with me. Suddenly gone was the analysing, gone were the recriminations and gone was the dark cloud of gloom. Suddenly I was happy with who I was. I felt comfortable being me. I was able to forgive those I felt had hurt me and most importantly I forgave myself. The relief from this act is indescribable. I now feel like I am the "me" I was meant to be, but I had to learn my lessons before I reached this point. Now I can say I love myself and I mean it. I am not vain nor am I selfish. I deserve to love me and let's face, if I can't love me how can I expect anyone else to? Loving yourself does not mean you are being conceited or arrogant, it merely means you are caring about yourself, respecting yourself and taking responsibility for yourself. You become more realistic about your strengths and weaknesses and about accepting them. You are allowing yourself to live a happier and more fulfilled life. "To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance." Oscar Wilde