Article

Making a comeback after losing almost everything

Topic: Therapy and CounselingBy Oh HuishanPublished Recently added

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Did you ever experience losing almost everything that mattered to you? How did you cope with it? Depression often happens to people when situations like this happen. So-called friends disappear or avoid you and you are left pretty much alone and on your own. Sometimes even some family members may hesitate to get involved as well. You lose your popularity and you suddenly discover who stands by you at your darkest moments.

The question is: How am I going to be able to make a comeback in life? I am listing some questions below that you may need to ask yourself. Maybe you need to be honest to yourself for the first time. Ponder upon these factors.

  • How is your mental and emotional state at the moment? Are you volatile and unstable?
  • Have you worked through your emotional issues within yourself yet? How are you coping with your current situation emotionally?
  • What kind of positive and negative playbacks are happening right now or recently in your mind?
  • If you discover that it is beyond your control and that you need to go for professional counselling, are you committed to making a change?
  • Do you have financial problems? Have you thought about how you can build up financially for current difficulties? Do you need to approach charities or organisations that can help you if you are in dire straits financially? Make a financial help resource list for yourself.
  • Do you have a religion or are you only spiritual? Find related books or online resources for motivational spiritual truths in life to support your mental and emotional outlook that has likely been changed from the past. SelfGrowth.com has a lot of such resources for your research.
  • Start keeping a paper journal or private/public blog to express yourself. Analyze your playbacks in your mind and how you feel about them. Make lists of positive and negative things in your life right now and elaborate on how you would like to make changes to them. Did you find something new about yourself or have you had difficulty facing your inner issues?
  • You could pick up some new hobbies or expand on old ones. Go for hobby group meetups and make new friends.
  • When you make new friends, you don’t have to tell them all about your past. And if you feel you need to, just keep in mind that sometimes whatever that has happened to you might make other people feel overwhelmed when they hear about it. Discuss this with your professional counsellor and come up with ideas on how to better communicate with new friends after what you have been through.
  • For me personally, I find talking about my situation much more helpful than keeping it a secret. That is why I have written my books. Writing therapy is very helpful and it is liberating on many levels. If it is up your alley, try writing books that explore your imagination and emotional dungeons. Be careful that sometimes you may get into areas of your psyche that can be hard to resolve. Call the local crisis line or your nearest professional counsellor for support!
  • Find humorous books, online videos, movies and television shows to add some laughter in your life.

Life is often unpredictable but things happen for a reason. You don’t always need to know what that reason is. Just do your best at any given moment for yourself. It doesn’t have to be perfect. All you need to do for yourself is learning to have more kindness and patience. You are your own best friend and if you keep waiting for other people to be kind or patient with you, you might just never find that happening.

I was running around in circles for some time and I beat myself up a lot for mistakes I had made and for making wrong choices. It did not help that people disappeared around me. I learnt something from this though. I live with myself 24/7 just like anybody else and if I do not make peace with myself, I will never ever be able to live life like it is. When I stopped beating myself up, I started enjoying my own company. That saved my life and pulled me out of depression. I hope with the questions and tips here I have mentioned, it will also help you to find a way out into the light.

Article author

About the Author

Oh Huishan is a self published author and certified stress management coach. Her debut book “Words That I Can’t Say --- A Workbook For journal Therapy” is listed on Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble online amidst other major online book retailers. It has also been made available on the shelves of 14 local libraries in Singapore under the National Library Board Singapore. She had also been featured along with her debut book in The Sunday Times (Singapore) on 31st October 2010. This book is listed on the Silver Ribbon Singapore website and the Job Club Institute of Mental Health Singapore website for mental health related publication. Oh Huishan has a 2nd book being released as an ebook in early April 2011 titled “What Comes Naturally… Before I Forget” which is a collection of prose and short stories. She used writing as a self therapy and it has worked well. This ebook will be available through major ebook online retailers such as Apple iPad’s iBookstore, Amazon Kindle, B&N Nook, Sony Reader and Kobo. Visit her official author website www.ohhuishan.com for more details.

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