Managing Your Home Building Expectations: Musings Of A Homebuilding Coach

For the umpteenth time, the question rolled back and forth through my mind. "Why do some people do well in the home building process while others (most, in fact) struggle mightily?" nnI was pondering the experience of some clients of mine that are on the emotional roller-coaster ride of their lives. They face some challenges, but everyone faces challenges in their home building or home remodeling process. nnWhen I thought back to the beginning days of working together, I remembered realizing that the potential was high for a rough road ahead. They both admitted that they were difficult to deal with but they really wanted my help. Over the years and the 150 plus families I've worked with I've learned a bit about people. And I've learned the most effective ways for them to improve their home building experience. And I've now decided to dedicate my time and energies to this end.nnIf home building or remodeling is in your future, let me share some thoughts that will help. Ultimately, the benefits you gain from the process will be largely up to you and how you approach the project. They say that attitude is everything. But, how do you create and maintain the right attitude if you have some misconceptions? What if your information and knowledge is lacking?nnHere are just a few examples of what I'm talking about. I've seen all of these. Some of them way too many times.nn-- Going from person to person, professional to professional until you virtually force someone to tell you just what you want to hear, doesn't make it true.n-- To really learn something you have to be willing to learn.n-- Unless you understand the truth, and the way things really work, a builder cannot make you happy. A supplier cannot make you happy. The weather cannot make you happy ...n-- Putting a sign up inside your front door for your husband to read on his way to work everyday that says, "You better get that promotion because today is costing us another $82.50 in construction loan interest!" is not going to inspire him to please the boss ... or bring you flowers.n-- If you don't know what you believe, you're likely to believe just about anything.n-- The windows won't automatically show up on the specified date just because you properly scheduled them ... when you ordered them three months ago.n-- If you are constantly expecting miracles to happen with no action on your part, you're likely to believe in myths.n-- If you're constantly looking for ways to keep your overall building costs down while at the same time you're designing your house bigger and bigger, something's got to give.nnMuch of the time, the trouble that arises for people is a result of misinformation and beliefs in things that just aren't so. And when this is the case, it can be very difficult to rectify the situation. Getting someone to let go of a belief isn't easy. Especially in the "heat of battle".nnThe other day I was looking for a document that I needed and I remembered where I had filed it (or so I thought). I went to the file cabinet and looked where I was sure it would be and it wasn't there. But, I knew it would be there as I distinctly remembered putting it there so it was the only "logical" place it could be. nnAfter an hour or so, I finally discovered another "logical" place it could be filed! No matter how hard I looked. No matter how confident I was. No matter much I believed that this document simply had to be in the first place I looked, the belief alone was not going to put it there. Nor was my need to find it in the wrong place going to make it materialize there. I needed to know the truth.nnThis is an example of the importance of accurate information. In home building and remodeling, knowledge about the truth and the way things work will help you even more than hard work and persistence. I hope you'll avail yourself of all the information you can. I hope you'll learn how things work and through that knowledge, you can create for yourself expectations that will serve you well.nnProper expectations, and well managed emotions based upon the knowledge of how things work, will strengthen your chances of having a wonderful building experience despite set-backs, delays, mistakes. So, learn early and learn often! And may your journey be a rewarding one!n