Mid Life Crisis and Self Worth

Often we think of a mid life crisis striking in the middle of one's life. And maybe it's called middle life crisis because that's when most of them strike. Yet today, that age could range easily between 30 and 60 years of age. Carl Jung, psychologist, described the middle age crisis as part and parcel with maturing.

A typical crisis is akin to waking up one day and realizing that you are in the wrong career or married to the wrong person (not that you really are, but you conclude that). Or waking up and realizing that you're getting older and that you're married to an older person too. It's missing the younger time of life or realizing that you never really lived the younger time in your life. Maybe you had children and were tied down as a parent and while some of your friends were traveling, going out dancing, and so on, you were home changing diapers.

The result of a middle life crisis is questioning who you are. It's waking up and realizing that you're not the person who you thought you'd be at this time in your life. There's:

· Disenchantment with everything—even the things that provided happiness for many years.
· Lack on interest in relationships and hobbies that may have previously been of value.
· Great desire for new adventures and making significant changes in life.
· Second guessing many of the decisions they've made all through out their lives.
· A feeling of loss as to who they are and their direction in life.
· Resentment with their spouse and blaming them for tying them down.
· Indecision about their direction in life.
· Resentment with their spouse and belief that they never loved their spouse in the first place.
· Intrigue in finding a new, intimate, and passionate relationship.

For those who can't find a new outlet, the crisis can lead to severe depression.
There may be external stressors that aggravate the crisis:
· Debt:
· Accumulation of debt and no way out of it. Credit cards, mortgages, car payments, college tuition, keeping up with the Jone's, and so on accumulate like a mountain that can never be climbed. Every time you turn around there's another bill and limited funds to pay it.
· Significant Loss:
· The passing of a close family member such as a son or daughter, mother or father. The loss of a job or family fortune. Everything is overwhelming.
· Avoiding Personality:
· Those with low self esteem, deal poorly with conflict in relationships, have feelings of inadequacy, easily feel shame, embarrassment, and rejection will generally internalize their mid life crisis. They often end up in divorce court with the spouse leaving them.

The end result is that the middle age crisis is an identity crisis. It's a question of who the person really is. And there are two basic results:
1. The sufferer internalizes it and experiences a life crisis which is what this book is about.
2. The person experiencing the middle life crisis finds new outlets:
A romantic affair resulting in divorce.
New group of friends that may lead into financial irresponsibility as in reckless spending, gambling, drugs, motor cycle gangs, unsavory friends, reckless hobbies, and so on.

Unfortunately, the sufferer of a middle age crisis who goes the second route is not amendable to coaching, therapy, or change until he/she hits bottom at which point they may seek AA, gamblers anonymous or some such program.

If he/she were married, this usually ends in divorce and their spouse ends up in their own crisis as the person going through a mid-life crisis has stripped away their identity as wife or husband.

While you can give book to someone going through a middle age crisis, the crisis will be denied and the book thrown away. If you are left by someone going through a mid-life crisis use the book I wrote, Quick Tips on How to Over Come A Mid Life Crisis Now, The Middle Life Crisis Book, to redefine yourself and get your life back.