Minding Your Own Business

I recently had a conversation with a friend who shared with me a better solution for how another friend should have planned her day. My response was that I use enough energy to plan my own life – I don’t have the time or inclination to work out how others could have done things better, especially if not asked.

And since then I’ve noticed how many of us do this – and frequently. We have the answers for everyone else. We have the solutions and fixes for their situations even if only according to our limited perspective. What audacity! Yet, ironically somehow we don’t look at our own world through the same opportunistic lenses, and instead think, “They have easy problems, it’s mine that are so challenging.”

This then leads you to not committing the resources, courage or time to work through your own life and instead exte
ally focus on summing up other people’s issues.

There are a couple of ways to look at this:
• Mind your own business. Focus on your own circumstances only and merely listen and provide support to others without judgment on theirs.

• Imagine what others are saying about ‘quick fixes’ to your life. Pretty guaranteed everyone will have an opinion on what you should be doing differently. If you’re sufficiently open-minded, would some of these seem probable? Does it provide another perspective and simplify things as well?

Remember that there is no one right or wrong way to live. Your current situation and suggested solution are merely from YOUR perspective. There is no need to impose that on anyone else, yet at the same time see how more open minded you could become about your life.

What’s the real difference between your life and theirs? If this question still raises feelings of overwhelm, have a deeper look at your situation:

• How important is it that you keep that challenge in your life? Is it important to you somehow to have it around? You may just be surprised!

• What would it mean if your life was indeed simple and easy?

There are a variety of challenges out there – just as there are a variety of people. Why not accept others’ lives around you just as they are? For the most part, how others’ live and the decisions they make are in fact, none of your business. Just give them love and compassion instead – which is much more appreciated than judgment and unsolicited advice.

We’re all on jou
eys of a nature – one way or the other - albeit vastly different to each other. Accepting others is all that is required. Nothing more is expected – or often desired.