Mother Wounds: Can A Man Sexualise Women If He Had An Unavailable Mother?

Although a woman will be made up of many different sides such as a sexual side, an emotional side and an intellectual side, it doesn’t mean that a man will always be able to truly accept this. Thus, when he sees a woman to who he is attracted, he could simply see her as someone who could please him sexually.

Other parts of her being are then not even going to enter his mind, let alone be something that he chooses to ignore. Due to how he sees her then, he is going to have one thing on his mind and one thing only; the need to gratify his sexual needs.

The Next Stage

After this, he could end up talking to this woman, and, it might not be long until he is able to fill his sexual needs. Conversely, this might not take place and he could simply fantasise about this taking place.

However, even if he is at home and not around any women, he could still see a woman or a number of women in this way. This could show that he is looking through a dating app or looking at porn, for instance.

Another part

Along with how he sees certain women, there are certain women who play into how he sees some women. When it comes to these women, they will present themselves as a sexual object.

In this case, it could be said that a woman will play into a man’s fantasies and will do this to benefit themselves in some way. For example, this can be a way for them to not only receive attention and approval but a way for them to make money.

Very Different

Additionally, a woman can be aware of what she is doing or she can be unaware of what she is doing. If she is aware of what she is doing, she might not always have positive experiences but the pros may outweigh the cons.

Yet, if she is not consciously aware of how she typically represents herself, she could often feel angry about how she is treated. This could show that she has presented herself in this way for so long that it no longer stands out.

One Experience

Anyway, as he sees the women that he is attracted to in this way, it could mean that he only has casual encounters. But, based on how he sees certain women, there is going to be no reason for him to take things further.

Or, if he has taken things further, it is unlikely to have been a relationship that had much depth. They might then have gone out and done things but having sex would have been the main focus.

Another Element

And, irrespective of whether he is or isn’t sharing his body with a woman, he could have a number of women in his life that he sees in this way. These might be women who he has slept with in the past and perhaps continues to sleep with at times.

Having these women in his life can allow him to feel confident and desirable. At this point, it would be easy to assume that a man like this is controlled by his genitals and is underdeveloped but he might also have a well-developed intellect.

Stepping Back

After a while, a man in this position could wonder why he typically sees the women he is attracted to in this way and can’t see them as whole human beings, who are made up of many different sides. This could take place after he has a relationship or gets older and has an inner shift.

If this is how he has been for as long as he can remember, it could show that his mother was unable to provide him with the love that he needed to grow and develop in the right way, causing him to be deeply deprived and unable to emotionally grow up in the process. Upon hearing this, he could question how what took place during his formative years has anything to do with how he has been for so long.

Going Deeper

What this comes down to is that the needs that were not met during his formative years wouldn’t have simply disappeared. These needs, along with the pain that he experienced by not having them met, would have ended up being repressed.

And, as time went by, would have been directed towards his genitals, with this becoming a way for him to release tension. The other part of this is that, unconsciously, he will see certain women as his mother.

Two Levels

At a conscious level, a sexualised woman will be someone who can make him feel better, but, at an unconscious level, she will represent someone who can provide him with what he missed out on as a boy. In other words, he is looking to be seen and heard, cherished and held.

He will be looking for one thing, then, but what he really wants is something else entirely. What this illustrates is how much of an impact what is going on for him at a deeper level has on his life.

It’s too late

The trouble is that as his developmental years are over, it’s too late for him to fulfil these needs. This is why it doesn’t matter what woman he shares his body with or how many women he has sex with, as this won’t allow him to truly feel different.

For this to happen and for him to be able to see the women that he is attracted to as whole human beings, he will probably have a lot of pain to work through and unmet developmental needs to experience.

Awareness

If a man can relate to this and he is ready to change his life, he may need to reach out for exte
al support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.