Mother Wounds: Why Would A Man Have Had A Mother Who Wasn’t Nurturing?

What a man may have come to realise, as the years have passed, is that his mother wasn’t very warm when he was growing up. She would then have been his mother but she wouldn’t have been very motherly.

However, he could wonder why it has taken him so long to see his mother clearly. For most of his life, then, he would have seen her in a very different light and now he will have a more balanced view of her.

A Defence

When it comes to why it has taken him so long, it is likely to be because his brain blocked out what she was actually like in order to protect him. Moreover, this is likely to have taken place when he was very small.

At this stage of his life, as he was powerless and totally dependent on her, it would have been too much for him to face reality. To handle what was going on, his brain would have repressed how he felt and a number of his developmental needs and he would have formed a false view of his mother.

Too Much

If he had faced what was going on and accepted that his mother was unable to love him, he might have died. Losing touch with what was going on for him internally and blocking out what was going on exte
ally and struggling for something that wasn’t freely available, was then a key part of what allowed him to survive.

What would have also played a part in this is that as he was egocentric, he would have personalised what took place. In other words, he would have believed that there was something inherently wrong with him and that if he behaved in the right way, he would be loved.

Opening Up

Now that he is an adult and he can see clearly, it may show that he has worked through a lot of pain. By no longer carrying so much pain, his need to block out reality will have decreased.

Before this, facing up to how things actually were would have unlocked a lot of pain and been too much for him to handle. So, although working through this pain won’t have changed his eyesight, as his brain plays a big part in his ability to face reality, his vision will have improved.

A Big Question

In addition to wondering why it has taken him so long, he could also wonder why his mother behaved in this way. Naturally, if he was mistreated by someone at school or a stranger on the street, it would be easier for him to get his head around what happened.

But, as strange as it can be, it might soon make sense if he was able to go back in time and observe what it was like for her when she was a child. This is likely to have been a time when she wasn’t loved.

A Rough Time

If this was the case, in the same way that he would have had a mother who was not very motherly, she would have also had a mother who wasn’t very motherly. This would have stopped her from receiving what she needed to grow and develop in the right way.

Thus, if she was born with a strong connection to herself, she would have gradually lost this connection. Quite simply, being connected to her feelings and needs would have been too painful.

Self-Alienation

Instead of being connected to her body and true self, she would have disconnected from her body and been forced to develop a disconnected false self. Developing a false view of her mother and perhaps father, if he was around, would have also been part of what allowed her to keep it together and function.

From this, it will be clear that her mother was not in touch with her nurturing instinct and this was probably a consequence of her also being deprived and having a mother who was out of touch with her nurturing instinct. If so, this will be something that has gone on for many, many generations.

A Natural Outcome

His mother would then have been deeply wounded very early on, and, for whatever reason, not been able to deal with most if not all of her inner wounds, which would have caused her to repeat what was done to her. What this empathises is how, at least on one level, he was paying the price for what her mother and perhaps father did to her.

On one level, as another way of looking at this would be to say that part of him chose her as his mother before he inca
ated and this wasn’t random. But, with this aside, he was not at fault for how he was treated.

A Different Direction

Regardless of if this is something that has been passed down over many generations, he will be in a position where he is able to draw the line. He will then have suffered but this is something that he can keep in mind and be grateful for.

Furthermore, unlike his ancestors, he will live in a time when there is an endless amount of information available about the impact of early deprivation and how to heal it. This can partly be put down to the fact that the consciousness of the planet has shifted.

Awareness

If a man can relate to this and he is finding it hard to work through his inner wounds, he may need to reach out for exte
al support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.