3 Keys to Making Small Talk Easy to Do

Small talk used to be really hard work for me. I never knewnwhat to say and I always worried about saying the wrongnthing.

Then something awful happened to me....

I had to take a job dealing with the public. My worst fearsncame true and I had to make small talk with a whole rangenof people each and every day.

I found it difficult, tedious and nerve wracking.

Eventually after a lot of trial and error I got the hang ofnit. And today I find it easy to do and even enjoyable.

You can do the same when you learn a few key distinctions:

1. Understand that the purpose of small talk is not tonexchange information.

It is a game you play to find things you have in common with thenother person.

Decide to be intensely curious about the other person andngo fishing for what you have in common. When you arengenuinely interested in other people they will respondnpositively to your questions and to the way you listen tonwhat they have to say.

When you take the pressure off yourself to be a greatnconversationalist and become a detective searching forncommonality the conversation tends to take care of itself.

Why?

Because people like people that are like them.

The more commonality you discover, the more the othe
person will like you and feel as if they have known younfor some time.

This in turn causes the conversation to flow.

2. Give first to encourage sharing.

If all you do is ask questions the other person will feelnas if they are being interrogated.

That is not the idea!

Be prepared to reveal something about yourself firstnwithout getting too personal.

By sharing first you are leading the way and cause thenother person to feel obligated to return the favor.

Sharing and receiving in this way allows you to take chargenof any conversation and to easily lead it where you want tongo.

3. Aim to control the conversation.

If you can lead a conversation you can control it. You nownknow how to lead any conversation - give first and watchnthe other person respond.

Most people will follow your lead right away. If the personndoes not just move on to someone else.

Never shoot for 100% with people as its not a realisticngoal. Life does not work like that.

And remember...

The key to success with these distinctions is to use them, playnwith them and then adjust them to suit you.

For the sake of 10-15 minutes a day, every day, you cannprogressively get better and better at making conversation.

Its not rocket science. Its just a matter of strategy -nknowing it and using it.