My Husband Makes Me Feel Worthless: My Husband Looks Down On Me

My Husband Makes Me Feel Worthless: My Husband Looks Down On Me More than often, spouses try to impose their will over one another by resorting to negative criticism, threats and insults. Yet, all this is done in the name of co-operation and love. It is a fact that emotional abuse is a common denominator in many marriages. However, the irony is that most of the times both the abuser and the victim are unaware of the fact that their marriage is marred by emotional abuse. This is because emotional abuse often means one thing to the victim and another to the abuser. Both the abuser and the victim play an important role in this vicious cycle. On the one hand, the abuser is both a coward and a bully at the same time. He/she exposes his/her partner to such an inhuman treatment because he/she is sure that there will be no serious repercussions for this act on his part. On the other hand, the victim, often due to ignorance or for the sake of the marriage plays the role of a passive martyr. What is needed is a heightened level of awareness on the part of both the spouses to save each other from this common vice. Any constructive relationship has to be based on mutual respect and understanding and a genuine concern for each other's views, beliefs and opinions. Find out how to get your spouse to go crazy head over heels for you and desire you in a way you have never experienced! You will be amazed at how good it feels to have your spouse's attention and affection again - Learn more here What is Emotional Abuse? Emotional abuse often comes in the form of a bulky package. It involves a variety of behaviors aimed at battering the heart and the soul of the victim so as to gain effective control over him/her. The various attributes of emotional abuse are: a) Isolation Many a times the abuser tries to socially isolate the victim so as to make him/her dependent on himself/herself for his/her basic social needs and aspirations. A series of restrictions and controls are imposed over the victim, to gain control over his/her social life. It is the abuser who often decides about the persons with whom the victim will interact and the friends with whom he/she will socialize. Any external social support system imposes a threat and a challenge to the abusers authority over the victim. The abuser may often deliberately insult the victim's friends and relatives so as to scare them away. The abuser may resort to emotional blackmailing, mood swings, tantrums and denial of communication to impose his/her will over the victim. He/she may take recourse to actively spying over the victim and may openly question his/her loyalty towards marriage. This is invariably accompanied by unreasonable demands on him/her. The chain of events may include checking on the victim, depriving him/her of any transport or means of communication, enquiring about his/her daily routine, criticizing his/her friends and relatives and so on. b) Verbal Abuse By verbal abuse we often understand yelling, shouting and calling names, which is very true. However, many a times the abuser may not be that blatant in his/her modus operandi and may take recourse to a subtle approach by using tacitly insulting or humiliating remarks. The basic motive is to undermine the victim's sense of self worth and shatter his/her self esteem. Verbal abuse may also include insulting and criticizing the victim's family, name calling, being sarcastic, making threats, blaming, etc. c) Financial Abuse Financial abuse is an extension of the emotional abuse where the abuser uses money as a tool to gain control over the victim. The abuser may deny appropriate financial freedom and support to the victim or may place unrealistic financial responsibilities on his/her shoulders. The abuser may exhibit financially irresponsible behaviour so as to disturb or confuse the victim. Emotional Abuse is Worse than Physical Abuse Though emotional abuse unlike physical abuse does not leave us with bruised eyes and swollen faces, still it is worse than physical abuse. The victim often fails to realize that he/she is being abused and may have his/her mind and soul bludgeoned to an extent where he/she may consider himself/herself responsible for his/her plight. Thinking about regaining the status of "Happily Married"? It is possible, and is not difficult if you think it is not. But exactly how you do so? If you would like the source most couples used to revive their relationship, strengthened their marriage, regain trust and love in the marriage and not giving up then visit this Helpful Site. To learn how to save your marriage even if alone at first, then check out this plan of actions that is 100% guaranteed. Over 60,000 couples were able to save their marriages by doing the very same series of steps that you could be doing. If they saved their marriages then you can too! Click Here to see how it's done... Marriages need space, on this point there can be no compromise. Spending time together is a good thing for a marriage unless that time together becomes too much. Balance is the key. Balance of time spent together and time spent to yourself. No matter how compatible a couple is or how much of the same things you enjoy, there is still a need for one's own space. You or your spouse could be feeling smothered . These feelings of being cloistered are much like those of a caged bird. If the chance for freedom is spotted, it is usually taken. How can you avoid that 'need for freedom' feeling that may come to you or your spouse? Recognize that each of you are individuals. No matter how much you love being together, you are still separate people with separate likes. He may love golf or she may enjoy shopping, schedule a time for each of you to do your own thing. Allow your spouse the space he or she needs for doing something they enjoy. In so doing you will be making time for yourself also. Discover one of the most destructive things you're probably doing to your marriage right now that is destroying your chances of saving it. Learn the key tips to make your spouse turn towards you instead of turning away - Learn more here Balance in this area may take some time management savvy. If both of you work and you or your spouse are close to your extended families, time is a precious commodity. If you do not already have this 'space for you, space for me' worked out, it will mean making some changes. Work together to come up with solutions. Do not take your togetherness time away in order to make individual time unless you have an excess in that area. You and your spouse need to be clear with each other as to both of your expectations for spending time apart and time together. Mutual consent is huge here, you both have to be cooperative. Of course, you will not agree on every issue all the time. Concessions and compromises will have to be made, especially if you have very differing ideas about the time issue. Find out how much time your spouse needs to enjoy doing things that interest him/her, and vice versa. Knowing your spouses needs is half the battle. If you both have ample time to enjoy your individuality, coming back together will be happy and much anticipated reunion. Are you tired of living in a relationship in which you feel neglected? Many married people find themselves feeling alone and rejected by their spouse. If you feel taken for granted, there's a way to change that now. To learn more about how to transform your marriage so your spouse loves and adores you more than they ever has before, visit this helpful site. The only reason there are more marriages than divorces is that, mathematically speaking; it couldn't have been otherwise! Nearly all marriages end in divorce. That's because going on with a marriage requires commitment, communication and devotion to the utmost degree. It's all too easy to choose to divorce. For this reason, I congratulate you on trying to do the right thing: Save a marriage and prevent a divorce. If you want to prevent a divorce, it means that you think your marriage is troubled. Why do you think so? Is it another affair, loss of love or just crazy fighting over everything? It's usually one of those. And of course, one of those could lead to another. For example, if you're fighting crazily over everything, having fights every day of the week and your fights get more serious every day; it can and probably lead to loss of love and respect. And this can lead to some affairs outside the marriage. And indeed this is what happens usually that lead to divorce. If you think your marriage is troubled and want to save a marriage, you need to take it easy on your spouse and not retaliate. Did he criticise you harshly for something you thought you didn't deserve? Do not retaliate and do the same to him. This will trigger a chain reaction in which each side is being even more harsh in their criticisms every time and will lead to fights, then loss of love, then a divorce. Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was. Click here to save your marriage and rebuild it into a more connected, satisfying relationship. A common issue among Christians is defining the proper balance between their parents' expectations and opinions and their spouse's expectations and opinions. Too often, Christians carry into their marriage the idea that they must continue to obey their parents long after they have reached adulthood because Scripture tells them to honor their parents. However, there is a huge difference between obeying parents and honoring parents although both are right depending on the maturity of the individual. The desire to honor parents is right but sometimes contrasts with their spouse's opinion. This produces tension frequently resulting in an argument or worse in unspoken frustration. The unresolved issue can then potentially give seed to resentment which can in turn devastate a marriage. It does not have to be this way. By understanding the meaning and application of the Scripture for obeying your parents, honoring your parents and cleaving to your spouse, many Christian marriages can become stronger rather than weaker. God's perfect design for how to treat each other in our relationships improves those relationships while increasing our desire to learn more about Him. Applying the truths behind these concepts can also improve your relationship at the most fundamental level. Do you ever feel like the only way to resolve a conflict is by slamming the door and walking away? Or by punishing your partner? It doesn't have to be this way. Find out incredibly powerful strategies for resolving your marriage conflicts in a more constructive and less emotionally stressful way - Find out here Obeying your parents. Ephesians 6:1 says, "Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do." Notice the opening of the verse; it is addressed to children, not adults. Children are to obey their parents. To obey means to submit to someone in a position of authority. Repeatedly we are told to obey God's commandments but nowhere in Scripture are we told as adults to obey our parents. Yet many couples do this well after marriage concerning themselves with the expectations and opinions of their parents over their spouse. This becomes apparent when a spouse goes to their parents with problems (usually money) before ever discussing it with their spouse. It is worsened when the spouse follows the direction of the parents, obeying them as if they were still a child, and then either never informs their spouse of the discussion or does so after the fact. This is destructive to a marriage and not consistent with God's expectations of us. Honoring your parents. Ephesians 6:2-3 then goes on to say, "'Honor your father and mother.' This is the first commandment with a promise. If you honor your father and mother, 'things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.'" To honor means to esteem with high regard. Think for a moment of the people in life with the title of "Honorable". They are judges, diplomats, elected officials, and others who have already earned respect and whose opinion is considered valuable. This is how parents should be treated once maturity is reached, as people for whom their opinion is valuable. As in the example above, if a spouse sought the opinion of their parents without following the direction until consensus was reached with their spouse, this would be honoring. But there is still an even better way. There are two emotions that you are probably holding onto that may be pushing your spouse into the arms (and eventually the bed) OF SOMEONE ELSE. Find out what those emotions are and how to keep them under check- Click Here Cleaving to your spouse. Genesis 2:24 says, "This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one." Cleaving to your spouse means to unite or to adhere to closely. It is a bond that should not be broken even by a person's father or mother. This bond defines marriage in the Christian church and should not be taken lightly. Ecclesiastes 4:9 states, "Two are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed." This is God's design for marriage for two to be united as one so they can support and help each other in life. Marriage is meant to help spouses through life, not tear each other apart. Looking one more time at the above example and it becomes apparent that the right view point is for both spouses in a marriage to agree to seek the opinion of their parents first. Then to listen to their parent's opinions with respect and finally to decide together (without the parents) if the opinion is one they will follow. By understanding God's principles and how to apply them to everyday living, marriages can be strengthened. God knows that relationships with parents and spouses are important which is why it is clearly addressed in His word and why He established proper balances for living well. Now Listen Carefully- Take 2 minutes to visit the next page and you'll discover a stunning trick which will make your spouse love you for the rest of their lives even if they are this close to walking out the door. Yes, you can indeed save your marriage no matter how hopeless the situation seems. Take the right step now and live to enjoy a blissful marriage. I strongly urge you to visit the next page- Click Here