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My personal guide to life: Things I learned before turning 20.

Topic: HappinessPublished August 27, 2015

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As I leave my teens behind and await turning 20 in a few months, I thought I'd pay a tribute to the world and give a little insight into what I've learned so far. Here are some of my personal life hacks or lessons learned that I'd like to share in the hope that they can benefit others too. Your best is enough. rnThis is fact. NO ONE can ask more of you if you try your best in everything you do. If we recognise that perfection is rarely a quality of human nature, we can counter act the negativity that sprouts from falling short of the deceptive idea of "perfection". Nobody can be good at everything - we need to work at the skills that we have and make use of the gifts we've been given. If we focus on the "can't" and constantly punish ourselves because we can't do certain things, it only makes us feel less worthy...which is an ugly lie. We all have our strong suit. Beauty is only skin deep. rnDespite what society tells us - I'm going to say it - it is personality over looks. You don't choose friends based on looks and I'm sure you don't choose your life partner purely based on appearance either. So why are we under the misconception that beauty is just our external aspects rather than our internal character? Low self-esteem and low confidence can SHOVE ASIDE when it comes to looks. Your internal character is what most people value more and view as important. Don't sweat the small stuff. You CAN'T please everyone 100% of the time rnThis is the only "can't" I'll allow. We've all tried. We've probably all failed. Everybody will have opinions and voices and these will inevitably collide, sometimes splitting you in half. Trust your gut instinct. Don't fret. You don't want to break yourself by trying to keep others whole. Avoid comparison. rnI believe comparison to be the root of jealousy, low self-esteem and sadness in a lot of cases. When it comes to social media, you only see what people allow you to or want you to know about. This way you get half of their story and a full view of your own, making you believe that your life is considerably worse. Life is peaks and troughs - guaranteed we ALL have them. I used to compare myself to every girl I saw. I have only realised recently that comparison did me no good whatsoever. It was the reason I had very little self-belief or confidence. To me, EVERY girl I saw was better/smarter/prettier. If we all got the chance to meet ourselves, or if someone held a mirror up to our life, chances are we'd react A LOT differently. I will share with you one of the most freeing things I have ever read in my whole life. "You don't have to be pretty like her. You can be pretty like you." 5) Find contentment within your life. USE PERSPECTIVE. It's a vital tool. When you think things can't get worse, they can. When you think things can't get better, OH MY GOSH THEY CAN. Have faith in your own mission and dreams! Count your blessings and let the wave of curses flow over your head. I cannot stress it enough. Dissatisfaction leads to greed and selfishness. In a society that profits from dissatisfaction, to be content is a rebellious act. BE DARING. Happiness starts with YOU.rnYour life is affected deeply by your perception and thoughts. If you want to change things- change thoughts. Delete the negative and turn up the volume on the positive. Your inner peace and happiness will cause you to see happiness in the world and your life will appear to improve because of your outlook. We shouldn't go out in pursuit of happiness. We should be creating it. Change is good. rnWe naturally feel more at home when surrounded by familiarity. Although it feels like the easiest route to take, I've found that change is probably MORE beneficial in most cases. Life begins outside of your comfort zone. It's not easy to change your life, take risks or leaps of faith. However, change will help you overcome fears, meet a lot of different people and see new places. You never know what opportunities you might open yourself up to. If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door! You can never learn enough. "Think lightly of yourself and deeply of the world." This quote to me stresses how we should be humble in our approach to life and not treasure our ego. Rather, we should be treasuring the world around us so we can learn. We should have the humility to recognise that the universe is a pool of knowledge! Life can be so much more fulfilling when you look for answers and question things. Philosophise, debate and wonder. It's good food for the mind. Self-improvement should be constant. rnIt is important to self-reflect so we can recognise our faults. Allow yourself to grow and improve as a person without it being a chore. See it as a reward for being, rather than a punishment for not being enough. Improvement isn't criticism - it's fulfilling potential. Let go of anger and forgive. rnLet's face it; life is a whole lot easier when you're not trying to hold a grudge. When your thoughts about people or situations are poisonous, it will only affect you - not them. Turn the other cheek and learn to forgive; I guarantee you'll experience a lot less stress and anxiety. By eliminating toxicity, you are purifying your life, relationships and self. Peace makes for a healthier you. Stop waiting. rnJUST STOP. Stop waiting for things to happen and make them happen. Stop waiting for the perfect time to do something because there will always be some reason as to why you can avoid it. Live wholly in the present and do things NOW. Each moment you're not fully embracing, your life is wasted and your aliveness is denied. Different is good. rnDon't shy away from being you. Ever. By trying to be someone else, you are wasting the person you are. The world needs you to be you; otherwise you'll throw the balance off! You'll always be too much of something for someone; too loud, too soft, too shy, too vibrant. If you blunt your edges, you'll lose your edge. So, NEVER apologise for who you are. ~I hope you read something you liked! ~

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