My Wife Never Touches Me: My Wife Doesn't Want Me Sexually
Have you ever wondered why your wife doesn't initiate sex?
The reason why this is very important is that the question can make you wonder if your wife is even attracted to you anymore. You may think: "My wife doesn't initiate sex. Does she even love me anymore?"
I know how you really feel. There have been times when I needed to be reassured of my wife's love.
So, could you receive such assurance?
If your wife wont initiate sex, that doesn't necessarily mean that anything is wrong in your marriage.
If you say to yourself, "I wonder why my wife doesn't initiate sex," take a look at these three reasons that may reassure you.
1. Realize That Your Wife Is Just Different from You
To start with, it is possible to understand that your wife is not like you in this regard.
It has been said that the husband is like a microwave and the wife is like an electric stove when it comes to the area of physical intimacy in a marriage.
The microwave is "instant on," but the electric stove warms up slowly. It can get just as hot, but it takes a while to warm up.
In many marriages, all the wife has to do to get her husband interested in physical intimacy is to "show up"! On the other hand, the husband will usually have to take some time in preparing his wife for physical intimacy. This may be why your wife doesn't initiate sex. That is not necessarily bad. It just means that your wife is different from you.
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2. Try to Figure Out if She Has Negative Thoughts About You
Although you realize that your wife is just different from you, additionally you can try to figure out if she has negative thoughts about you.
If she does, it will affect all areas of her life. For most women, all of life is related. If you have hurt her or angered her in some way and have not made it right, don't be surprised if she not only does not initiate sex, but also don't be surprised that she is not interested even if you initiate it.
More seriously, if she feels negative toward you all the time, she may be looking elsewhere for her romantic needs to be met. This can also lead to her becoming unfaithful outside of the marriage.
This is the least reassuring reason why she may not initiate physical intimacy. However, if it is just in the normal course of marriage where spouses frustrate each other from time to time, it can be overcome.
If an affair is involved, then you may have to get additional help if you want the marriage restored.
3. Perhaps She Does Not Know How Much It Would Mean to You
Besides realizing that your wife is just different from you, and trying to figure out if she has negative thoughts about you, in addition you can begin to understand that perhaps she does not know how much it would mean to you.
When the time is right, talk to her. Let her know that this would be something that would thrill you.
We have seen that realizing that your wife is just different from you, trying to figure out if she has negative thoughts about you, and realizing that perhaps she does not know how much it would mean to you will help you to be reassured that your wife really does love you even if she does not take such a step. Still, if you talk to her, she may surprise you at some opportune time in the future!
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Husband, there's one really important person you need to look out for...YOU.
That may sound completely obvious but when you look at the behavior of many men, it becomes apparent that they are needlessly sacrificing important parts of their life.
Usually, it's in two particular areas that men don't look out for themselves...that they don't stand up for themselves...that they subvert their needs...and that's in the areas of intimacy and their children.
In the area of intimacy, many young men are conditioned by their Mother to believe that it's "not nice" to be sexual and it's certainly "not nice" to try to engage a "girl" in sex.
Further, many young men are conditioned by their Mother to believe that they are supposed to give preeminence and dominance to "girls" -- that they are supposed to put a "girls" needs and interests above their own.
The result is DISASTROUS!
It's disastrous because when these young men become husbands, they are AFRAID to take the lead...they are AFRAID to BE A MAN who leads and guides his wife and his home. And, he's AFRAID to BE A MAN who LEADS he and his wife into connection, intimacy, and sex.
Because of these fears -- and because many women won't lead a relationship in a sexual direction (at least not after marriage) he ends up in a relationship with lots of "love" -- at least on the surface level -- but with very little of the TRUE, GENUINE affection and closeness that comes with being in a highly intimate and sexual marriage.
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The end effect is that he ends up quite unhappy with his wife AND his wife ends up quite unhappy with him. He's unhappy with his wife because she isn't "letting" him have intimacy and sex. She's unhappy with him because he doesn't lead the two of them into an intimate and sexual union.
It's incalculable how many well-meaning Mothers have literally DESTROYED the lives of their sons and their grand-children because of inappropriate teaching.
But, what is done is done...and NOW, it's time for men to stand up for themselves in the area of intimacy and sex...for the well-being of their marriage...and the impact upon all the various lives their marriage will have.
In the area of children, there's an unspoken belief in many women that they OWN the children -- that children are the property of the mother. With such a belief, a woman will tend to take possessive control of the children and push, drive, and direct them based upon her interests, wishes, or values and will STRONGLY resist any "meddling" from her husband.
What's particularly amazing is that men often buy into this belief too. The result is that many men don't stand up for their parental rights and they end up getting cut out of their children's lives.
Frequently, it's the case where a man will come to me looking for help after he and his wife are separated. Inevitably, when I ask him about his children, he'll say something like, "Well, I don't want to take them away from their mother..." Often, men will even say something like this even when they have teenage children pushing to stay with him.
When I delve deeper, the real deal is that the man has the belief, "I'd love to spend more time with my children...actually, it hurts a whole lot that I don't "get" to be more involved in my children's lives...but they "belong" to the Mother."
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So, in this area, here is what I tell men, "Children are NOT the property of their Mom! STOP sacrificing your relationship with your children because of some misguided woman with messed up beliefs about children."
If we look at it from a Biblical perspective, we find out that all souls belong to God and that parents merely have the responsibility to care for, train, and raise any children -- any souls -- that God gives them so that they can become independent and productive citizens who perpetuate the species and create greater good in the world.
If we look at it from a sociology perspective backed up by studies and statistics, we find out that in general, people who create and enjoy the greatest good in this world -- both for themselves and for others -- are those who had a Dad who was actively involved on a daily basis in their lives. Conversely, those who create and enjoy the least good in life are those who had a Dad that was cut out of their life or who had a Dad who was uninvolved in their life.
The point is that men need to realize that the future well-being of their children is dependent upon them being as involved in their children's lives as possible which means men MUST stand up for and FIGHT if necessary for at least EQUAL involvement in their children's lives.
A husband must stand up for his relationship with his kids and REFUSE to let a woman try to cut him out or minimize his involvement with his children.
Husband, as it turns out, you are the only one who can stand up for you.
You're the only one who can demand from life and people whatever it is that you want.
You're the only one who can make sure you get frequent intimacy and a close relationship with your children.
You're the only one.
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Save The Marriage
All relationships have their rough spots. This is true whether you are dating or married. Many couples struggle with ongoing issues that over time start to splinter the foundation of their relationship. If you feel this is happening with your spouse, it can be both frustrating and scary. Loving your partner, while at the same time realizing they are drifting away is heartbreaking. If you are worried that your marriage has fallen into this category, there are a few warning signs of a failing marriage that when present indicate things have to change quickly if you wish to avoid a divorce.
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One of the most noticeable warning signs of a failing marriage centers on the amount of time you and your spouse spend together. When children arrive in a relationship it's easy to lose sight of the importance of the primary relationship between the husband and wife. If a couple looks for excuses as to why they can't be together, that's cause for concern. Consider how often you two actually take a moment or two just to focus on one another. If you want your marriage to thrive you have to start putting one another first.
Another of the telltale warning signs of a failing marriage is constant criticism. Couples often fall into this trap when they've been married for some time. One partner may be the instigator. They constantly pick at small things that their spouse does that annoy them. Over time, the other partner will start to retaliate by engaging in the same type of behaviour. This leads to a deep sense of resentment that can be difficult to overcome if it continues for too long. If this is happening in your marriage and you still love your partner, you need to take the first step to stop it now.
Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by.
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Men, I'm pretty certain there's some things you wish your wife would give you more of...
Today I aim to help you improve your marriage relationship...
Within this article, I intend to expand your awareness...
And, if you'll permit me to, I'm going to personalize this for you a bit...
You don't like it when your wife neglects you. You don't like it when your wife ignores you. You don't like it when your wife is too busy working on something else and has no time for you.
Neither does your wife!
You don't like it when your wife pays no attention to you. You don't like it when your wife refuses to express and show her love for you. You don't like it when your wife is unsupportive or uncaring. And, you certainly don't like it when your wife withholds affection and intimacy.
Neither does the woman you're married to!
You don't like it when your wife nitpicks at things. You don't like it when your wife nags on you about something that irritates her. You don't like it when your wife belittles you. And, you certainly don't like it when your wife criticizes everything you say or do.
Neither does your lady!
You don't like it when your wife puts the blame for some problem on you. You don't like it when your wife makes accusations against you - even if they're true. And, you definitely don't like it when your wife is verbally or emotionally abusive.
Neither does your spouse!
You don't like it when you feel insecure in your marriage relationship. You don't like it when you're unsure if your wife is loyal and faithful to you. You certainly don't like it when you feel like you're second - maybe even third or fourth - string and some other man is the first string.
Neither does your wife!
You don't like it when your wife gets frustrated over something and takes it out on you. You don't like it when your wife gets mad about something and you get to feel the heat of that anger - even if it has nothing to do with you - or it has everything to do with you.
What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?
To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply
click here!
Neither does the woman you're married to!
You don't like it when you find out that your wife has told other people about your weaknesses, faults, shortcomings, or mistakes. You don't like it when your wife reveals personal, private information out of turn - especially when it portrays you as inept or inadequate.
Neither does your lady!
You don't like it when your wife is open and friendly with other people but cold to you. And especially, you don't like it when your wife won't talk about issues with you but she'll go talk about them with other people.
Neither does your spouse!
You don't like it when your wife acts like she always has to get her way - or else! You don't like it when your wife acts like nothing you do is ever good enough. You don't like it when your wife undermines you. You don't like it when your wife tries to change you. You don't like it when your wife is possessive or jealous.
Neither does your wife!
You don't like it when your wife is selfish. You don't like it when your wife feels like she should get all the money, all the attention, all the good first - and if there's anything left over, well, then you can have some too. In fact, you don't feel any attraction at all towards your wife when she operates in an arrogant, ego-centric, self-centered way.
Neither does the woman you're married to!
You don't like it when your wife fails to take care of herself. You don't like it when your wife fails to take care of her work. You don't like it when your wife fails to carry her share of the load. You don't like it when your wife simply doesn't care about things - especially the things that have to do with having a smooth-running home and marriage.
Neither does your lady!
Now, think about all the things you'd like for your wife to give you.
How do you get your wife to give you those things?
Well, as you now can clearly see, in many ways, the very things that you want are also the very same things that your wife wants.
And, by graciously giving your wife more of what she wants, you pave the way for YOU to get back more of what you want too. You open the door for your wife to give you what you want.
Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse
fall back in love with you, all over again.
You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use
specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.