New Years Evolution

Every January, after your judging mind puts you on trial and finds you guilty for your flaws--too fat, too poor, too messy, too lazy, you begin your self-improvement projects. Gritting your teeth you swear--I will lose wt, save money, clean out my closets, hit the gym. Change is so effortless in the mind. Still, by the first of March, you feel defeated and blue. Why did you expect that simply by turning a calendar page you would change--ove
ight? Perhaps this year, instead of forcing (and resisting) a personal revolution, you can instead relax, choose to focus on a single intent, get clear about the new behaviors required to achieve that intent, and allow yourself to evolve slowly, over time. If your intent is to change your relationship with food, weight and body, you might decide to start with your body this year, and not with the food itself. What if, instead of restricting what you ate, you simply focused on eating only when physically hungry (sensations in your stomach) and worked towards stopping eating before you were full? If that feels like too big of a leap, you might start with allowing yourself to become aware (mindfulness =no judgements) of when you were physically hungry vs. when you just wanted to eat (appetite =emotions, stress). See if you can stay open and be curious about what the moment teaches with no pressure to change anything right away. As you gently observe your behavior, where you get stuck, where there is fear, instead of criticizing you might try: isn't that interesting. I'm not really hungry right now, I just want to eat. As Pema Chodrun says, ''Mindfulness (meditation) practice isn't about trying to throw ourselves away and become something better. It's about befriending who we are already.'' Being patient, reasonable, constant and kind is a loving way to effect change. And take heart, 2009 is still new and the days are getting longer and lighter.