no contact rule, contacting an ex, contact your ex boyfriend

If you’ve decided to use the No Contact Rule, you probably already know how difficult it can be. Fighting off those urges to pick up the phone and call your ex boyfriend can be extremely difficult. But sooner or later, you start to feel better. Those feelings of desperation seem to die down and you start to get your life and your emotions back under control. Life seems to go on and you’re just fine. But what if you still want to get back together with your ex boyfriend, or at least just keep in touch with him moving forward? First, though it’s important to know the difference between “needing” and “wanting” something. If you need to get your ex boyfriend back you’ll probably make a lot of those irrational moves that many people (*cough* like me) made during their initial break up. If you want to get back together, however, you’ll be coming at the situation from the standpoint that your life is 100% okay just the way it is, but having him back would just be a nice thing to have. Basically, your life should be a delicious cake and your boyfriend should be the icing on top of it. Don’t rely on him to be the cake of your life. When you feel like you’re at this point, emotionally (and you’re not just kidding yourself), then you are ready to break No Contact. For most people about one month is good, but depending on how you broke up and how long your relationship was, you might need to continue for longer. When you’re ready to contact him, simply pick up the phone and call him up. Tell him that it’s been a while since the two of you talked and that you were just curious how he’s been. This is simple and straightforward. No need for any mind games or other sneaky stuff. The more honest you can be the better. Depending on how much drama was involved in the break up, you have to be willing to face the possibility that he may not be ready to talk to you just yet. I know this probably isn’t the reaction you want, but you can’t let it get to you. Just let it go and try again maybe a week later. We all heal at our own paces and it might take him longer to get over the pain of the break up.