Nothing Matters - Unless it Matters

This sounds like a Yogi Berra truism, but the fact is; nothing really matters at all. Everything we do, our dreams, our aspirations - they all mean absolutely nothing. The expanse of the universe, the inconceivable endlessness of ete
ity, the indifference of a myriad of generations to come, all render anything we do as futile. Our children might remember us, as might our grandchildren, and if we're lucky, our great grandchildren. After that, we can't hope for much. If we become a religious savior or a world-changing statesman, perhaps our deeds will be remembered in the history books for ten or twenty thousand years, but eventually the universe itself will collapse (and our sun much sooner than that!) and it will all be for naught.

Janet and I were training in a Zen monastery back in the seventies when a Zen master said "Nothing matters." My reaction at the time was, "This Zen master is crazy! If nothing matters," I thought, "what in the hell were we doing here living like recluses when we could be enjoying ourselves?"

We were trying to improve not only this life, but our afterlife as well, and the afterlife had nothing to do with the physical universe or whether it collapsed or not! Our afterlife was a spiritual thing! It didn't register in my still very religious mind where the Zen master was coming from, a place far beyond my immature spiritual understanding at the time.

Over the years, I have contemplated this statement, and at times, I have experienced it from a transcendental point of view where I found myself in that incredible, frightening emptiness that tried my very soul, coming out the other end of that emptiness full of joy and wonder, feeling that moment of freedom whispered about in the spiritual world. What could possibly matter when there is nobody there?

Other times, I found myself becoming the warrior, where every little thing I did, every thought, every word written in a piece of paper meant everything, and I did my level best to make it actually matter.

But most of the time; nothing matters . . . and yet everything matters a lot. It's a paradox. It's as if I am at my favorite fishing spot, a bank on a clear stream in the woods, pristine, quiet, and as I cast my line and look around and feel the immensity of nature, whether I catch a fish or not becomes insignificant. I am here, where I love to be, and fishing may be just an excuse to waste away an afte
oon doing nothing, because nothing really matters. But I pretend that catching a fish does. And there is a freedom in that.

Society will inflict its demands, convincing us that it is all very important, and we'll go along; we'll pretend to be fishing while we waste our precious time because we know in our hearts that our time is not precious, not at all, and that is liberating, that allows us to breathe.

Where we are and what we do doesn't matter at all. New jobs, new towns, new relationships - it all changes, and it all eventually goes away. But to arrive at this realization requires certain things: what we do, where we are, and whom we associate with does matter. As a matter of fact, as long as we think that things matter, they really do. As long as we think that things matter, they really do. And as long as we think that we are real, and that what we do is real, we will remain within that reality. Whatever matters to us, I believe, we will be reborn into, so we must be careful what matters.

If we can come to an understanding that things don't matter, only then can we get beyond this physical existence where we are no longer restrained by the falseness of a contrived world. When we understand, we can actually live in the world of illusions and do our jobs, whatever they may be, and do them for no particular reason other than they need to be done.

We are human beings and this is what human beings do; find food, procreate, find shelter; and because we have heightened intellectual capacities, we understand our demise, and we look for a way out of that.

When we have no compelling underlying reason to do our jobs other than they need to be done, we end up just cutting wood, carrying water; and within that simple existence lies the freedom of ete
ity, only awaiting our discovery.

Until one finds his or her own way through that door of emptiness, that is just on the other side of this fleeting world of illusion, everything will matter intensely. There will not be a moment of peace or an inkling of freedom as the momentary things we mistakenly embrace, crave, and attach to in hopes of finding our deliverance, encircle us like razor wire.

Reading about "nothing matters" and taking that statement as some kind of truth to guide one's life would be unwise. This would be a life of surrender and depression, a life of hopelessness. But burying "Nothing Matters" deep in our soul, and letting it slowly take root and grow, this will make all the difference in a life that otherwise might be destined to follow the road of illusion, the road filled with the voices of judgment and confusion that we mistake for truth.

Nothing matters . . . unless it matters, means that as long as we need things to fill our lives and stave off the emptiness, it will all matter greatly. Only when we have the courage to see beyond ourselves can we understand that nothing truly matters, and only then can we be free to live as if everything matters greatly, but know in our relaxed hearts that it doesn't matter at all.nn n