On Which Part Of The Interaction Should You Compliment Her
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The beginning of the interaction
Imagine some man, approaching you during you launch time, and telling you how beautiful you are, what a great personality you have, etc… He is complimenting you without even knowing you, and "out of the blue". Feels a bit weird and annoying, right?
Well, that's how women usually feel when men they don't even know give them compliments.
It's common for a man to approach some girl and tell her how much he likes her, just in the beginning of the interaction.
Now, the problem with that is that the girl didn't really do anything to deserve the compliment. It' also based, in most cases, on her physical looks.
This is not unique just for women. Even men, don't like to get compliments that are not based on something they have done or achieved.
Which compliments do we like?
The kind of compliment everyone loves to get is based on something we've actively done. For example, if you work hard in the office and complete some serious project, you will be happy to get compliments and credit from your boss (unfortunately, that doesn't always happen).
We love to get compliments for actions we have control over. If you were born beautiful, complimenting your beauty is not very rewarding, right?
So the next time you want to go complimenting women, do this regarding something they did.
When to use compliments with women
According to my personal experience, I believe every interaction with a new woman can be divided into 5 steps:
- Approaching and starting conversationrn- Creating attraction and interestrn- Showing interestrn- Building comfort and rapportrn- Intimacy (not every interaction gets to the 5th step)
Imagine a model of a conversation: You approach a girl and start an easy chat. You get into an interesting conversation. You show her (indirectly) what a great man you are, and make her feel attracted to you.
If she likes you and you show no interest at all, she will eventually give up. When you see that a woman is interested in you, that is the perfect time to show interest in her.
Now, you can just give her blank compliments and say that you like her, but we've just seen why this is not a very good way to give compliments. Instead, you can give her real compliments, by creating the opportunity for that.
Make her deserve your compliments
In order to give a girl real compliments, you should make her deserve them. There are many ways to do this, and I will give you a few examples.
Asking questions: You can ask her question about her hobbies, interests, activities, etc. If you like them, you can give her compliments for telling you about them. For example, ask her what was the last book she read.
She might tell you some name, and if you like this book, you can give her a compliment such as : "Wow, this was a great book, It's great that you read this style of literature".
The same way, you can ask her about her hobbies (perhaps she is into jogging, or playing music, etc). Get her to tell you something positive that you like in her, and then compliment.
I personally like women who are good at cooking, so I will ask girls if they cook and talk a bit about some kinds of foods that I like. After that, I can give compliments over her cooking skills.
Make her do something for you: Instead of telling you about herself, make her do something for you. For example, ask her to tell you a story, or explain something to you. If you are good at card tricks, for example, show her a trick and make her repeat it.
Compliment her behavior: the last example I will give you, doesn't necessarily requires her to do something that you ask. Simply, compliment her for something she did during the conversation. For example, if she said something funny or interesting, give her a compliment. If you discovered that she has some unique fashion combination, you can also compliment
Compliments are important
There is an issue that many men ask me about: They talk a girl, and she seems to be very interested and attracted, but when they ask for her phone number, she simply refuses.
Well, there can be many reasons for this, but not complimenting is one of them. When you behave hard to get and not show any interest, the girl will ask herself: "Why is he asking for my number? He doesn't even seem interested in me…".
So the only reason that might come to her mind, is that you only want sex and like her for her physical looks.rnSo give women real compliments, and give them the reason why you like them.Article author
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