One should be Loyal to Relationships

One should be Loyal to Relationshipsrn(Vinod Anand)
Dear XYZ, if I remember correctly, the last time you met me was at... when was it? Was it at a wedding or a birthday celebration? Perhaps it was at someone’s prayer meeting. How much time did we spend together and what did we say to each other?

Did we have a worthwhile conversation or were we merely acknowledging each other’s presence? Now, would .you call that a meeting? Too often, if not all the time, we limit our relationships and bonding to physical presence in life’s so-called milestones: births, deaths, anniversaries and parties (yes, that too!).

We assign value to our relationship a loyalty quotient, no less — only by watching whether a person showed up, attended or participated in my or your personal events, But think: Are these ‘f events for real?

In reality, these are mostly insignificant; mere commotion. They are non-events, possibly. All that one does is simply show up and live in the illusion that your irrelevant presence is taken note of in a motley group of relatives and friends are a ‘real’ community. Surely, relationships, bonding and loyalty cannot be measured in this superficial manner?

Milestones in one’s life are not created by non-events. Births and deaths, for instance, are routine occurrences that every individual is likely to encounter in a lifetime. All that happens in these situations is that a guest at such a non-event further burdens the host to attend forthcoming “non-events” in his life.

Hence, without a second thought; we get sucked into the vicious cycle perpetrated by society: inviting and attending each other’s non-events. We waste precious time creating footfalls in life’s nonevents, mistaking them for loyal relationships. What is a milestone then?

When does a person experience a milestone moment? The only time is when he encounters himself; when something stirs inside—in his mind, in his head, in his heart— when there is no need to wear role-play masks; when he is influenced or influences like- minded people.

A milestone is achieved when he connects and bonds; when he engages at a deeper, higher level with those around him: not in old boys’ clubs but as individual-to-individual.

When you and I can create or allow the creation of a space around us devoid of society’s noise, interruptions and blizzard of non-events, when we are ready to share, listen carefully and receive the other’s words gracefully, that’s when we strike a milestone. In deeply connecting with another, an individual connects with himself as well.

Ask yourself when do you experience energized moments? Whether with a relative or an employee, what are the moments that impress your mind? When in stress or distress, why do you seek certain persons to speak with and not gather a group around you?

It is from creating such milestones that loyalty is born: loyalty to a relationship that is above and beyond the one de fined by society. Loyalty that brings out the best thoughts, that makes people stick together.

Not personal loyalty born out of rituals and roles, but loyalty in harmony with a deeper higher and genuine strain of thought. Loyalty that’s unspoken, quiet and ever-present. A relationship you can bank upon, whether in family or at work.

It is loyalty that sticks beyond roles, rituals and above all, expectations. If we were to meet, then let it be on a platform such as this, let us not allow ritualized expectations blind us to what we can share. Let us meet when it counts. Let it count when we meet... Regards, ABC