Our Relationship Stuff

We all have our stuff… our issues to be recognized, wounds to heal, negative patterns to end. Every relationship experience and every experience in a relationship is an opportunity to discover something about yourself by recognizing unhealthy patterns, healing wounds, and identifying what it is you want and don’t want in your relationships.

Each relationship holds a gift, no matter how bad the experience! As you recognize issues, wounds and patterns, you move closer and closer to the genuine, authentic and fulfilling relationships you desire.

Relationships seem to magnify our issues. Your issues could include lack of self worth, neediness or co-dependency. Maybe you have insecurities or a need to control. Anger not expressed in a healthy way can become suppressed and therefore problematic.
Wounds may be from betrayal of trust due to infidelity, deception or repeated dishonesty. You may have been harshly rejected by someone and feel the pain of humiliation. Perhaps you’ve been verbally, emotionally or physically abused which is very harmful to one’s psyche and sense of safety and well being.

Negative patterns can arise from all of these experiences if you don’t recognize them. You’ll continue creating these challenging situations over and over. Some examples of these are:

• If you lack self worth and value, you may repeatedly attract abusive, controlling mates, or perpetuate your issues of co-dependency by feeling your needs aren’t important.

• Passive aggressive behavior is common if you don’t acknowledge and express your anger in a healthy way.

• The need to control causes obsessive and sometimes irrational behavior as you try to dominate your mate.

• Allowing yourself to be treated with disrespect and disregard in every relationship can be a more difficult pattern to see yet is common.

• Fear of being betrayed again may keep you from seeing that your new partner is trustworthy.

Review your past relationship and identify something from one or all of these areas. Release the issue, heal the wound, change the pattern. Bring this new “you” into your present and future relationships which will be healthier and more genuine and fulfilling!