Overcome The Blue—What to Do After a Painful Breakup

Dealing with breakup can be painful. So things didn’t work out and she dumped you. After a long time of thinking that you’re on top of the world, she shoots you down the way they do in old Westerns and runs off with your horse. You’re appalled, heartbroken; there’s a nagging pain in your chest that doctors can’t cure. Being left by someone whom you care deeply about is never easy. However, it also doesn’t change the fact that despite everything that has happened, you still want her back. At this point, you’re going to have to assess the whole situation from a different vantage point—not from the eyes of a love who is so smitten, he doesn’t see clearly. See her for who she is Some guys are too overwhelmed by desire that they don’t see straight. They overlook certain realities about the women they are with. Who is she as a person? What are the things that she likes/dislikes? What’s that secret thing about her that only you know? Why did you fall in love with her? What qualities does she have that drive you crazy? Understand your relationship for what it was A common mistake for people undergoing a break-up is that after the fight, they are so wrapped up in their loss, they remember the relationship differently. Suddenly, everything was perfect and you don’t know why you split up in the first place. You glean through the signs even when they are staring you at the face. Ask yourself some of the basic questions: Did you talk often? Had frequent fights? How often were you intimate? How was she to you? Remember her body language then and what they indicated. Was she displeased? Happy? Frustrated? Consider each other’s shortcomings Think about what each of you did to make things end. Remember why you broke up It’s not enough that you want instant gratification by getting back together with your ex like nothing happened. You have to face facts—including the painful ones. This is useful to you, especially if you’re trying to win her back. After all this and you’re still sure that you absolutely can’t live without her, take the first crucial step in getting her back. Start living your life without her Pick up the pieces of your shattered heart and move on. Focus on yourself for a bit. Fix what needs fixing, and leave what isn’t broken. Work on your issues and get on the road to self-improvement. Grow up. Put an end to bad habits. Start good ones. Take a more positive outlook in life. Be kinder. Stay friends with her, but don’t stalk her. Refrain from the tendency to call her frequently and get yourself busy on more productive activities. Don’t act like a fawning idiot by gawking at her all the time. Act like she’s just one of the guys. Whatever you do, do not be too obvious about wanting her back. Rather, show her how you’ve come a long way from who you were when you guys were together. Make her feel like she’s missing out on a lot. Remember, if you want her to want you, you have to be worth wanting. Be someone she regrets leaving. Suggested Reading:The Dos and Donots of a Divorce