Overcome Your Loneliness Even if You Are Alone

How do you feel when you are faced with spending another weekend alone because nobody has invited you to do anything with them? Do you mope around the apartment, hoping that the phone will ring? Do you spend all your time wishing that somebody, somewhere, will call to invite you to do something? Many lonely people who don’t have a very active social life, punish themselves further by refusing to do the things they really enjoy if they are alone. They also increase their loneliness because they are too timid to create their own social life. Does this happen to you? Just because no one has invited you to do anything with them, it doesn’t mean that you have to spend your time alone feeling lonely, depressed or bored. You can actually fill your spare time with activities that you really enjoy. And you can take steps to create a better social life for yourself. Do you tell yourself that you could never go to the movies or the theatre or have dinner by yourself because you can’t enjoy yourself without a partner? Maybe you’re a person who loves going to gourmet restaurants, or to live theater, or action movies, but you never go to these activities unless you have someone else to go with. If you don’t have a partner to go out with, you just stay home. This is silly behavior and it just increases your dissatisfaction with your life and with your self. Why not take advantage of your free time and create some fun for yourself, even if you have to be alone? Decide to go out and do some activity that you really enjoy, and treat it like a special date – a date with yourself! If you approach going out by yourself with a positive attitude, you will find that you can learn to enjoy solitary activities much more than you expected. When you learn how to have a good time by yourself, you will radiate more confidence, instead of moping around, being depressed. When you treat yourself well, you create your own self esteem without depending on the opinions of others to feel good about yourself. Just because you haven’t received an invitation from anyone else, it doesn’t mean you have to stay home alone feeling sorry for yourself. Choose some event or past time that you really enjoy. Don’t go into the experience telling yourself that you will have a lousy time. Tell yourself in advance that you will enjoy your own company and that you will enjoy the event. Before you go out, take some time to relax and pamper yourself. Have a nice bath and play your favorite music. Put on attractive clothing that makes you look and feel good. Make the effort to visualize yourself having fun and enjoying the coming experience. If you find yourself visualizing yourself feeling lonely and sorry for yourself, make a conscious effort to visualize yourself having fun. While you are at the event, whatever it is, do everything you can to increase the enjoyment you get out of it. Don’t spend one second of your time feeling sorry for yourself because you don’t have a partner. If you can learn to create pleasure and fun for yourself, you will be less panicky when you are faced with spending time alone. You’ll also become more confident, more interesting, and much more attractive to others.