Pain Is Inevitable

Bad things happen. The passing of a parent, the death of a pet, rejection from someone important, the loss of something you truly enjoy, and the list is endless. There is no “pain free” way to live. We build attachments. Attachments come to an end. Yet, as Buddha said, “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”

Most painful events are followed by shock, anger, denial, and blame. These emotions are normal. What causes suffering is getting stuck in anger, denial or blame. Some people make careers out of anger and blame.

Carl Jung, Swiss psychiatrist said, “The greatest and most important problems in life are all in a certain sense insoluble. They can never be solved, but only outgrown.”

Outgrowing problems demands acceptance. Acceptance doesn’t mean that we like it. Acceptance means we accept the fact that it happened and understand that the only thing we can control is our reaction. Some people choose the path of a survivor and others choose the path of a victim.

Arthur Gordon, American author said, “Some people confuse acceptance with apathy, but there’s all the difference in the world. Apathy fails to distinguish between what can and what cannot be helped; acceptance makes that distinction. Apathy paralyzes the will-to-action; acceptance frees it by relieving it of impossible burdens.”

William Cowper, British poet said, “No traveler ever reached that blest abode who found not thorns and briers in his road.”

And Thomas Fuller, British clergyman said, “I will not meddle with that which I cannot mend.”