Paris in the Big House... so NOT FAIR.

Warning: If you're after some hard-hitting, life-changing, mind-altering, insight, wisdom and enlightenment from yours truly today... then check out one of your other favourite writers.nSeriously.nThis is certainly no Personal Development piece... social commentary perhaps.nA little tongue-in-cheek satire maybe.nOr just an excuse for me to comment on something I find entertaining, amusing, incredible, sad and silly.nnnSo little Paris has just headed off (today) to the slammer for her twenty three day sabbatical.nBusting up rocks for a few weeks with her new gal pals.nMaking number plates.nDeveloping new skills.nA craft class or two perhaps.nLearning to love jump suits.nIf there's ever a time when she doesn't want to be gorgeous, it's the next three weeks.nnPoor Baby.nnHow dare that nasty judge make her be responsible for her actions.nShe didn't mean it; it was all a silly misunderstanding.nBesides... probation and loss of license are such ambiguous terms anyway.nn"Oh, you meant no driving... at all?"nnWhat was he thinking that silly old judge?nDid he not know who she is?nDid he not know the Paris rules?nDid he not get how obscenely rich and influential she is?nNot to mention, stunningly thin?nSurely someone that attractive couldn't be a criminal?nn"Can't we just make this go away... Mr Judgeywudgey?"n"What if I cry a bit?"nnApparently not.nnClearly he missed the Paris memo.nnMaybe she didn't pout enough in court.nnOf course there are rules for us normal folk (you and me).nAnd then... there's the rules for the spoilt, self-centred, obnoxious, pretentious, precocious, immature, irresponsible, stupidly-wealthy, surgically-enhanced, dysfunctional 'famous' people that all our kids (seemingly) aspire to be.n(Heavy sigh).nnI wonder how our famous-for-nothing-in-particular star will cope wearing her new orange outfit?nHopefully it's fitted and not too baggy.n(Imagine... uggh!)nShe never wears orange.nSo doesn't go with blond hair.nSo... totally-not-her-colour.nnSeriously though(!), I'm kinda worried about her.nI don't reckon she's experienced a whole lotta (physical) discomfort over her twenty six years.nI hope that green vinyl mattress doesn't give her a rash.nAnd I hope the guards don't wake her too early... you know she likes to sleep in.nI wonder what the skin and hair-care products are like in there?nAnd more importantly, I wonder if they have a 'lite' meals option?nnHope so.nnI really hope Paris can find an angle on how to make some substantial cash from this whole unnecessary experience; there's gotta be an upside to all that suffering.nA few highly-paid interviews maybe.nOr a mini-series.nPossibly a book about her journey to hell and back (My time in the joint by Paris Hilton).. out soon in paperback.nHopefully her agent's on it as I write.nnAfter all, we wouldn't want her to actually learn a lesson.nnSpeaking of that (a lesson)... how much fun would it be if we (you and me) could pick her cell mate?nnA lot.nnWe don't want any harm to come to her or anything.. but perhaps a few weeks with some nice, large, scary lady with a bunch of tattoos, six yellow teeth, a pet snake and a not-too-friendly disposition would be a valuable life-lesson for our little princess.nnBut seriously... if only that silly judge hadn't misunderstood her, the nasty press hadn't driven her to drink and the ill-informed public hadn't victimised her... she could be out clubbing with Nicole, Lindsay and Britney right now.nnIf Lindsay wasn't in rehab of course.nnSo not fair.