Pay It Forward? Why not…

Isn’t it great to be alive? Many of you will have seen the film ‘Pay It Forward’ where a child’s random act of kindness sets off a chain reaction of such acts, that causes massive positive change, and becomes a nationwide sensation. Kids love it for it’s simple feel-good message; the ladies love it as a full-on, jumbo box of tissues, chick-flick; and fellas grudgingly shrug ‘It was alright’, whilst thankful that nobody noticed the bit near the end when they got misty-eyed – probably because of some ‘grit’ in their eye, or something like that.

Now the Hollywood version of an idea can be very handy for spreading the idea around. After all millions of people saw, and may have been inspired by that film. However, there is a downside. Many people will dismiss the concept as something that happens in the Movies, but is nothing like real life. This would be a mistake. The Science behind it is pretty overwhelming, and this stuff should not be lightly dismissed.

Positive Psychologists have found that one of the most effective strategies to lift people from depression is for them to help others. As social beings we are hardwired to get a reward of feel-good hormones in return for a positive act towards others. It’s easy to forget this in the day-to-day chaos of life, but if you set yourself the goal of performing an act of random kindness for the benefit of a stranger, it will leave you feeling good for hours. And if this can lift people from the depths of depression, how good could it make someone like you, who is already happy, feel?

Of course, there are many of us who will ask “Why should I do something for nothing? Or why should I help someone who has never helped me? or someone I don’t even know?” Well, to put it plainly, you are not doing it for them, you are doing it for you! Yes the person who receives your kindness may pass it on to the next person they meet, and set off the chain. They may just grunt, and carry on being miserable. It doesn’t matter. You have done your bit, and will get your reward. You will still get your rush of ‘feel-good’.

If you are one of those people who take your greatest pleasures from the misfortune of others, and are regarded as a crabbit, grumpy, old so and so, you may find this whole experience dizzying. Don’t panic! This strange feeling pounding through your bloodstream is called feeling good. You may even find people smiling at you, and being nice to you. You will learn to love it, and (horror of horrors) may even learn to love yourself because of it.

For those who may prefer to wallow in self-pity and misery, don’t worry! These sensations are temporary. They need topped up regularly to have any long-lasting life-changing effect. If you find feeling good makes you feel bad, you can just go back to being miserable – most people will hardly notice. On the other hand, if you find that feeling good, and doing good, makes you feel alive, useful, appreciated, wanted, fulfilled and just plain good about yourself and your life… the only limit to exactly HOW good you can feel is the limits of your imagination. You can rest assured that if you are suddenly happy and positive, EVERYBODY will notice – and react positively to you. As always, it’s your choice.

Do you remember that old postcard which showed a man shouting at his wife… she then gives out to the kids… the kids then kick and shout at the dog… who carries his lead to his ‘master’… and barks and yelps til the man (who started it all) has to get up and take him for a walk. A perfect circle of negative behavior and aggression.

Well it’s just as easy to set off a positive chain reaction. It doesn’t need to be a stranger either. It can just be someone like a workmate or neighbor that you don’t usually make time for. Carrying someone’s shopping out to the car for them; picking up something somebody has dropped, and giving it back to them with a smile; paying for a strangers cup of tea in a Café; big or small, it doesn’t matter.

Who knows what your one simple act of kindness might set off. Who knows where it could end up as it ripples out. Because we never know which act will be the one that sets off the domino effect, which one will end up going all around the world in a day. It could be your next act of kindness that ends up changing somebody’s life forever. Maybe it will be yours. Why not give it a go today? I defy you to do it and not feel good. Go ahead… make someone’s day. Thank you for listening!