Personal Counseling "How To" Guide: Life Changes

Changes in life – from moving across country for a new job, to going from being single to in a relationship, or vice versa, or dealing with a new reality of life – are complicated and full of contradictory emotions. Cut through the confusion by recognizing 3 critical elements of the change process. 1 – Timing: Where are you in your change timeline? Change that lasts cannot be rushed. While it may be tempting to dive right into taking action today, more often than not, it is important to lay the proper foundation to make effective change. Do this to avoid missteps and failure, which leaves you feeling as though change isn’t possible. Failed changed is usually about not having most of the pieces of the change puzzle figured out in advance. Personal counseling helps people to understand where they are on their personal change timeline. 2 – Stress: Remember that change--even welcomed change--comes with stress. Transitions are stressful, even happy transitions. It’s pretty easy to recognize the stress and strain that comes with unwelcome transitions, like job stress or relationship problems. It’s less easy to see how a promotion or a new exciting relationship also comes with its own types of stress. Keep in mind that change in and of itself causes stress since it alters usual behaviors, patterns and habits. As creatures of habit newness can put any of us on edge and stretch typical resources. Remember this, and build in ways to assist yourself as you deal with the new. 3 – Loss: With something new, you have to lose something old. Change is another word for loss. Life changes come with an inevitable sense of loss, even if the change is a good one. When your life alters there’s an emotional component created by that alteration. Life that was once familiar is no longer quite the same, and is subtly – or not so subtly – unsettling. Reminiscing and thinking about the “good old days”, even if they weren’t actually that good, are part of letting go and moving into change.