Personal Presence: Why Some Women Have it and Some Don't

There are women who are noticed by many every time they walk into a room. They have an air of authenticity and confidence about them that is attractive. Others who frequently comment, "No one remembers I was even there." One has ‘presence’. One does not.

Strong personal presence is cultivated by a combination of many things. It is not a simple formula. In my opinion, the three biggest factors are:

1. Being present in the moment
2. Being present in your body
3. Being present in your feminine essence

When a woman is present in the moment, she does not dwell on the last time she was judged by someone else. Nor is she consumed with thoughts about what others will think of her. She is not overcome with ambition and more concerned with what she can get from the interaction. She simply walks into the room and she is there. Energetically she says, “I want to show up fully and authentically, with no agenda that takes precedence over being present and alert.”

What takes you out of the present moment when you walk into a room? Is it fear of what others will think? Is it incessant thinking about what you have to do later in the day? Do you feel being there is a waste of your time?

The passageway out of these distractions and into the present moment is witnessing your thoughts and emotions. Sometimes I catch myself not being present with someone because I am consumed with a thought. In those moments I take a step back in my mind to first witness the thought, and then let it slide right past. When I witness my mind I’m not fooled into believing I am the mind. I then come back to putting my attention on that person and the energy between us.

When I connect to my center of gravity, which is what I call my ‘energetic power center’, I instantly feel present and strong. This point is what many yogis and martial artists call ‘dantien’, and is found approximately two inches below and behind the navel. This is the first place I go to when I want to be present in my body. When a woman is “in her body,” she is grounded to the earth and not floating away with thoughts about tomorrow. She feels the physical and energetic sensations pulsing through her. There is ‘aliveness’ to her that others pick up on. Actors and dancers often have a lot of personal presence, as they understand the importance of having a strong sense of physicality. When a woman is connected to her body, she has better posture and moves more fluidly. This increases presence. Feeling your body is a great anchor if you ever have trouble being present in a situation. Put your attention on the physical and energetic sensations you feel in your body as you read on.

A woman’s power and magnetism grows when she connects with her feminine essence. Often women will fill themselves with masculine energy in order to gain respect from a room. This does not work. It is easier to give a woman attention and respect when she is in her feminine. We all have masculine and feminine essences, but for the majority of women the feminine essence is dominant and is her authentic nature. When she is disconnected from that feminine essence, she is disconnected from her vibrancy and her radiance, and as a result, is noticed less. Make time every day to practise breathing, moving and loving your feminine essence. You will feel your presence expand. You will also love the compliments that come your way.

What would happen with your friendships, intimate relationships, and business connections if you became more present? How would your life shift if you consciously paid attention to increasing your personal presence?

Being present is inherently joyful. Being present is also the gateway to our emotional freedom. Practice presence, not just to attract more attention and feel more feminine, but to experience more enlightenment.