Pick yourself up, dust yourself off…

Making a mistake or doing something klutzy can make anyone uncomfortable. Some people are more uncomfortable than others, going home, pulling the covers over their heads, and trying to sleep, haunted over and over by pictures of the embarrassing incident. Others apologize lightly and gracefully, and then seem to roll on without any noticeable psychological damage.

What makes the difference? Actually, several things do. Those who handle mistakes easily are:

• more focused on a solution than on the event itself. Which is better? Repeating your apologies for having spilled ink on the carpet or searching immediately for a way to remove it, and taking responsibility for doing it?

• looking forward to the future rather than obsessing over the past. Being haunted by past mistakes is a great way to get stuck and fear taking a step forward.

• recognizing they’re really not the center of anyone’s universe, except their own. If you can forget it, others will, too. Hey, the world’s a busy place; why would anyone fixate on your little mistake?

• less likely to emphasize blame when they or others make mistakes. Blame never solved anything; good problem-solving skills do.

• more able to make other people around them comfortable. If you continue to act uncomfortable, embarrassed, even obsequious, you will make other people so uncomfortable they will avoid you – not because of the mistake but because uncomfortable people make others around them feel uncomfortable, too. Who needs that?

People are frequently most embarrassed with their own embarrassment.

Your true worth lies in how you handle a problem, not in how you react to it. I once had a printing company make a lulu of a mistake in a workbook I was having printed. They stayed open all night, redoing the job at their expense.

A friend later questioned why I continued to do business with this firm. The reason? They had shown me how they handled a mistake, taking responsibility and going immediately to a solution. I now knew how they behaved under stress. If I had chosen a new printing company, I would have no advance information about how they would handle a problem.

Being solution-oriented

• helps people trust you

• quiets other people’s discomfort

Expressing guilt and shame is a child’s way; searching for a solution and reassuring others you will do so is a confident adult’s way.

Then, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again.