Article

Manifesting The Right Relationship

Topic: DatingPublished February 28, 2003

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Most of us can describe superficial traits our ideal partner will possess; but have you explored what you value in a relationship? Relationships are driven by feelings. When you are with someone who makes you feel good about yourself, the relationship becomes stronger. Ask yourself how you want to feel in a committed relationship and write down what comes to mind. Visualize as if you are living your ideal life with your future partner today. The clearer that image is, the easier your unconscious mind can bring that desire to you. When a comprehensible picture is attained, do not settle for less than what is written down. Giving up a prerequisite means giving up a vital part of who you are. Visualize how what you offer in a relationship can positively impact your future partner’s life.nn What virtues do you possess and practice in your daily life? As you look at your interactions with others, contemplate the following attributes. Evaluate whether or not you hold these values in your life and practice them on a daily basis.nn· Thankfulness. Are you a grateful person, thankful for the blessings bestowed upon you? Are you thankful for tragedy as well as abundance?nn· Compassion. Empathy. Patience. How do you treat others, from good friends to neighbors, coworkers to store clerks? Are you short-tempered with them?nn· Courage. Self-respect. How do you conduct yourself in the face of adversity?nn· Faithfulness. Are you a faithful friend? Are you faithful in your relationships?nn· Kindness. Do you practice kindness daily, in thought, word, and deed, with others as well as yourself?nn nWhat type of lifestyle do you value? What you find important and what you place value on will be unique. If living in the country is your idea of bliss, write it down. What makes you feel content and peaceful? Does a walk in the early morning, holding a baby, reading an engrossing book appeal to your soul? Whatever makes your heart sing is valuable and needs to be defined in this process.nn What type of intimate relationship appeals to you? Romantic illusions are seductive. Ingrained in our society through visual images is the promise of idyllic love with the picture-perfect partner (with whom you never argue). Love at first sight is enormously appealing and provides an escape from the everyday disappointments of real life. Dedicated relationships are not a storybook tale. Meaningful love relationships require nurturing, compromise, patience, and hard work from both individuals. nnWhen embarking on a new relationship, attempting to change the other person into this captivating fantasy of the ideal partner is tempting. In the past, have you created a romantic illusion of the right relationship instead of seeking a romantic partnership? Molding another person into someone else to create an ideal relationship is not the foundation a strong, committed relationship is based upon. nnIn previous relationships were you quickly disenchanted? This may stem from a focus on an illusion rather than the dedication and commitment a successful relationship entails. Illusions are seductive and deceptive, and they fade away. The barrier lies in the concentration of external traits such as looks, finances, and sex, ignoring the inner dimensions of a true, lasting partnership such as honesty, integrity, and moral standards.n

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