Please - Don't Get Over It!

If you have ever experienced things in your life that have hurt you, left you feeling as though you didn’t matter and no one cared about you, please don’t ever let anyone tell you to “get over it.” I would like to invite you to another way of thinking. Attempting to get over something will only have you living your life on the move, always finding it necessary to stay busy. To never go back will require you to over achieve, over medicate or shroud yourself in the cloak of denial so you won’t have to feel anymore.

Having the blessed experience of not being good enough leads you to the edge of a windy mountain peak. Although you may have initially found this place so you could jump off it, once you are there a new awareness will arise. You’ll know you want to have a different feeling; and from there you can see something better in the distance. The only problem will be how to get there?

My offering to you is to jump! Take the leap of your life and go deep into it, go into the pain of disappointment and regret. Go deeper into the hatred you have for the person and watch how the feeling of love is involved. If only they would have cared for you, been proud of you or made you feel you were important, things would have been fine. Notice how the pain keeps coming from what you required of others.

This mindfulness will help you see the “tennis-like” match going on in your mind. The mind only knows love and hate, left and right. When you sit with a painful past experience, you can watch the game being played. You loved someone that hurt you. You hate them for hurting you because you loved them. Watch how your sorrow is rooted in caring, which is nurtured by an angry rich soil. Watch and pay close attention to the behavior in others; try to see that you were only having your experience of them. The behavior will be yours and that glorious insight will allow you to address your sorrow. The ability to take responsibility for your emotions takes time and arduous attention.

Be determined to get to the bottom of the hurt by staring it down. It may seem as if you were looking for a diamond post earring you had dropped inside a box filled with cotton balls. Don’t stop looking, no matter what. Pick a little out here and a little out there but don’t stop. If someone should appear and tell you the pursuit is a waste and that you need to get over it, please don’t listen. That will only perpetuate your suffering. Stay strong in your desire to know yourself.

I believe this experience is the very path to attainment. Knowing self is the kingdom of heaven. Why spend your whole life getting over something you never can? You can never get over anything. The things you believe you need to forget are illusions of trickery that offer you a choice. No matter how you try to avoid it, something new will always come out of the nothing for you to get over. If you weren’t ever in a position to get over something, you would never find the fork in the road. Getting over it means ignoring the fork and not seeing your choices.

When you have a memory about your past, embrace it and allow it to be there. It’s OK to remember and it’s a wonderful way to avoid disease. When you can continually allow yourself to remember, grieve, or enjoy a past event, you keep the energy moving. To deny these emotions will only end as denial for a part of yourself that will sit inside you and fester. Go back as often as you need to, regardless of what anyone tells you. Within all these experiences, you will gain the wisdom into those things needed to understand yourself. Each time you open one of these doors, inside will be an offering; a part of me doesn’t love myself, value myself or feel that I matter. It is the very opening of these doors where you will learn how to heal yourself. You are all you’ve ever been waiting for.

It is said that the journey to self can only lead you so far. At a certain point, the universe will grace you the rest of the way. In the Bible, (Genesis 22) the story of Abraham and Isaac is a perfect example. When Abraham took his son, Isaac, to the mountain to sacrifice him before God, the command came from heaven to “not lay a hand on the lad.” Isaac’s life was saved.

This is an example of how the divine invites you to put everything on the line. Picking through every piece of your emotional pain will teach you how to parent yourself and grow your awareness. Be mindful, however, not to stop there. Even in this place of active seeking, the sadness of what you cannot get over will still exist. In the dark spaces of your mind where you haven’t looked in a while, it will be sitting collecting dust, but it will be there. Perhaps an old song, a person you haven’t seen in years or a picture you find at the bottom of a box will be there as a reminder.

So, stay focused on the pain, and as you take that proverbial “jump”, you will fall deeper into needing and wanting to understand the why and how. If you can pursue this to the very end, you will gain wisdom in knowing yourself and the secret of dealing with hurt.

All the pain, the suffering, the sad, sorrowful regret will be gone; not out of getting over it but through genuine dissolution. The angry soil, in which you allowed the seed of yourself to be planted, will become enriched with gratitude and compassion. Existence will open up and swallow you with grace. Now you can live your life in peace, existing as yourself, overflowing with love. The duality of life and the confines of time will be gone forever.

You will have reached attainment and all of creation will dance.