Predictability Versus Excitement In Relationships

Predictability or excitement; which are you more drawn towards? In reality most of us like a little of both, although the most important in the end is usually predictability. We are creatures of habit and routine, whether we like to think of ourselves like that or otherwise.

We generally feel more comfortable and confident when we know where we stand. However, some of us become adrenaline junkies, and find ourselves lured by the excitement of the chase, someone who keeps us guessing or one who proves to be an enticing challenge.

This may be an expression of wanting what you cannot have. Or, if you have been in a relationship for a long time which has become boring and monotonous to you, you will instinctively begin to crave excitement. But one should not confuse predictability with boredom and monotony. Predictability and excitement are not actually mutually exclusive.

When you feel bored in a relationship it is easy to start questioning whether you really want predictability, instead of asking yourself how you can inject some excitement into your relationship. What we all want is to be able to trust our partner one hundred percent; we want that part to be absolutely predictable and unquestioned. When you have that solid base to your relationship, you can enjoy other elements which are less predictable.

Many people look back at relationships and ask why on earth they ever put up with their ex partners antics. Hindsight provides great clarity. You can look back and know that your logical mind knew all along that something was wrong, that he or she was messing you around, that you should have just severed the ties. But at the time you were emotionally involved and your emotions are always stronger than logic.

I was chatting with friends this weekend about this type of scenario. This type of bad relationship is not just the forte of insecure people; girls or guys who have had a stable upbringing, a good education, who have a good circle of friends and good social skills still get drawn into bad relationships. It would seem that anyone can be "messed around".

In fact, some would say that the more successful you are the more open you are to turning a blind eye to things which may constitute a red flag to others. If you are used to being liked, getting your own way, and "winning" in general then you have a natural expectation that things will work out just fine. And whatever you expect to see is what you do indeed see, even if the opposite is standing squarely in front of you.

A "victim" temperament would ensure a tendency towards the opposite, resulting in your mind being put in a constant state of high alert to spot the negatives in life. These examples obviously provide two opposite sides of the spectrum and we all fall somewhere in between, depending on our unique experiences in life.

Returning to the fact that hindsight creates clear vision, very few people would say that they were completely unaware of their ex partners misdemeanors. Most will recognize that they spent their time in that relationship trying to please and trying to make things work and justifying why this and that event happened. Afterwards you may kick yourself and wonder why you were apparently so selectively blind.

What most people find to be more than a little frustrating is that at the back of their mind they always knew that it was wrong, and yet despite these warning bells they ignored their inner wisdom and simply ploughed on with the relationship. I guess the moral of the story is that we should all learn to trust our inner wisdom and stay true to ourselves.

Roseanna Leaton, specialist in hypnosis mp3 downloads for relationship issues.

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