Pregnancy Decisions

Question: Seven years ago I met my current husband, I was a single mother with a daughter of 16 years old. When we were dating I did tell him that I don't want any more children, and he agreed to it even though he didn't have any kids. After we got married he changed his mind and said he wants a child and this has been his dream to have a child. We had many fights over this. At that time was 38 and he was 49. He gave an ultimatum that if he doesn't have he would leave me. I gave up and since I was 39 and we didn't have that much time, I did the insemination and got pregnant with 3. The fact that I was going to have 3 more kids scared me so much, and during my pregnancy I was so so ,so sick, I couldn't eat, sleep and my body wasn't cooperating with me at all, nothing would stay in my stomach even plain water. After 3 months the doctor told me I need to reduce one of them since there are too many complications. I reduced one and after about a month I had a miscarriage and lost the other 2. I was relieved and just a little sad, it didn't effect me that much. My husband was very sad and depressed, after that I did two other inseminations and didn't get pregnant. We both gave up because we felt we are too old. Now my husband is very sad that he doesn't have a child and most of the time depressed. My question to you is should I feel guilty that it didn't happen for him? Is it my fault that he doesn't have kid? If there is law of Karma is it possible that this is based on his karma that he shouldn't have any kid in this life time? By the way, he is a heavy drinker and smoker and that was another strong reason that I didn't want have kid with him. I need your insight it means a lot to me since I admire your way of thinking so much. Thank you for your help. Answer: No you shouldn’t feel guilty about this. You certainly tried, and going through the miscarriages with the first pregnancy and then the two subsequent artificial inseminations shows that you gave it chance. As far as whether it is his karma to be childless or not, who can really say? The fact is that he doesn’t have a child at this point. If it was as important to him as you suggest, why not adopt? Also for a person who has placed his life happiness on the idea of having a child, why would he wait until he is 49 years old to start thinking of having a family. On top of that, he threatened to leave you unless you got pregnant even after you had said up front you didn’t want kids and he agreed. This doesn’t sound like a sensible life plan for someone who has his heart settled on being a daddy. Even if his karma favored children, it’s not clear he was proceeding in a way that allowed it. You shouldn’t feel bad for him and his decisions about children. Love, Deepak