Put the “ahhhhh” Back In Alone.

“Solitude shows us what should be; society shows us what we are.” -Robert Cecil

It’s safe to say that life is busy. Between parenting, working, keeping up with the house and the Kardashians, there always seems to be something to do. Do you ever feel like you’re being pulled in every direction? It’s no wonder we have stretch marks! And the noise. Have you ever actually stopped to listen to all the sounds that surround you? And what about all those pesky voices in your head regretting the past and worrying about the future? Calgon, take me away!

When you become a mom, it’s easy to lose your identity and forget the vibrant, ambitious, beautiful person you once were. You’re so busy giving, sacrificing, and doing for others that you are too tired and worn out to do anything nice for yourself. It’s time to take a long, hard look in the mirror and face what is staring back at you. Are you happy with the way you look? Are you proud of the person you’ve become? Are you taking care of your mind, body and spirit?

Ask yourself (and I quote Janet Jackson), “What have you done for me lately?” If you’re still going to the bathroom with an audience or walking around with one shaved leg because you haven’t had a moment alone, read on sister! You need some peace and quiet to let your true self emerge. And that’s not going to happen in your busy life unless you demand it.

Here are 7 ways to get to know yourself again.

1) Schedule a play date with yourself. If you were granted an afte
oon to yourself, what would you like to do most? Go to a movie? Read in a coffee shop? Get a spa treatment? There’s no reason why you can’t do these things. Give yourself permission to get out of the house and away from it all.

2) Find a hobby that excites you. Why should your kids be the only ones who get to enjoy extra-curricular activities? What did you love to do as a child? Find a creative or physical activity that you enjoy. Join a class at your local community center. They’re an inexpensive way to meet new people with the same interests as you.

3) Become an early riser. Waking up before your family is a great stress-free way for you to get organized for the day or enjoy the calm before the storm. Use this time to read the paper, exercise or take that long, hot shower with the “good” body soap you’ve been saving for special occasions.

4) Put up a do not disturb sign. Let your family know that you need alone time too. Schedule it in the master family calendar if you have one, or put up a sign on your door. Teach your partner and your kids to respect your wishes and that when your door is shut, mommy is unavailable.

5) Turn down the volume. Find some quiet time every day. Turn off the background noise of the TV, radio, cell phone, and email even just for a few minutes. Listen to your thoughts and the voices in your head and start to pay attention to what they are telling you. If you don’t like what you’re hearing, make a conscious effort to shift your thinking.

6) Get spiritually connected. Spend some time alone to connect with your soul. Some people do this in a place of worship while others achieve this by going for a quiet walk in nature or through meditation. Find the outlet that works for you and make it something you practice everyday. Be present and in the moment.

7) Teach yourself and your kids the benefits of being alone. Growing up, we were led to believe that if you were alone it meant you had no friends or that you were a “loser.” While it’s important to socialize and be around others, it’s also necessary to be alone to discover who you really are. Lead by example and teach your kids that it’s okay to do things on their own and to have interests that are different from their friends.

Start spending some quality time by yourself everyday. Take this time to reflect and rediscover who you really are. You might surprise yourself and realize you’ve got a lot more to offer than you thought.