Re-enlivening Relationships

How is your relationship with your significant other these days? Are you aware of the preprogrammed patterned games you play with each other? Are you willing to become conscious and choose to really look at where you are and choose where you desire to go with the love in your life? Do you ever explore together what u love means to you and then ask what love really is? Are you willing to travel into the mystery of love and re-create the patterns you dance in with each other? How much do you treasure life, love, yourself and your partner? Or do you just exist with each other?

I run questions like these through my beautiful brain a lot lately. What is love? I am beginning to think that I don't have a clue what love really is.

I do know that the best questio
I can ask myself when my partner and I are in a conflict is "What different perception can I come up with around our conflict that will open doors and bring in fresh air and more powerful ways of loving?" It is an amazing question that can work miracles and turn hurt, pain and anger into diamonds. Our relationships are truly and deeply alchemical physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. We are all alchemists creating our lives with every thought and feeling that we have. Our life creations then go on to co-create the world we live in.

You probably hear a lot these days about the law of attraction, the secret, and other buzz words. I invite you to try them on and not just hear them. Use them!

I’ll give you an example from my work as a coach of a couple in a real life situation. (Not real names) Jane shares how much she appreciates something John has done that is very romantic. John’s response surprisingly hurts and angers Jane. She totally did not expect him to throw at her the very thing that would hurt her the most and she responds angrily and shuts down. Now John turns to her and says that she is shutting him down. A full scale fight and break up could have resulted from this encounter. Jane realizes her perceptions are what is hurting her and she starts asking herself the question, “What am I feeling here?” She listens and responds to herself with love and caring and stays with the feeling until she gets the gift it offers her. Then she asks the question, “What new perception do I need in this situation to change my thoughts and feelings?” When nothing comes up Jane tells John that she is choosing to find a new perception that will open her up and is working on that. She invites John to do the same and the energy shifts. Doors start opening up.

The next day Jane works on finding new perceptions and finds herself crying. She discovers she wants to give up but is resisting and resenting that movement. As she allows herself to feel and follow the feelings she is faced with her interpretation of being invisible. As a child it meant protection, but also not being known or able to voice her needs and get them met. With a coaches’ questions, she discovers a new definition of invisible. Now she is experiencing it as being totally open to being seen by Divine Essence which for her is a new experience of being invisible, hiding nothing, everything is seen. In this space, because Divine Essence only loves and gives, her needs are also seen and provided for in the exchange of unconditional love from the Divine seeing and meeting those needs within herself. She meets her Essence Self as the Divine here. Now Jane is in a totally opposite space in working on the conflict with John. Jane also discovered that she had shared her appreciations with John from a space of having expectations of what she desired from sharing. John is very intuitive and felt the manipulation and shut her down unconsciously. She releases John from the expectations and apologizes for her manipulation. John is now free to respond from a whole new energy. In this case it was incredible lovemaking with no barriers. In this relationship, Jane is the partner that is aware, conscious and able to explore new dimensions, patterns and healings. Sometimes it is both parties. Depending on how long Jane chooses to continue on this journey of peeling the layers and letting the new energies flow into the relationship there are many more treasures to be found here.

Explore the idea that you are totally responsible for your life in your relationship with your significant other. When you are in a conflict ask yourself what am I feeling? Let yourself feel and follow the feeling with loving yourself in that place. You might even remember a time when you were feeling the same way and didn't get the love you needed to nurture yourself. Love yourself now in the moment. That is all we have is this moment, this now.

Now ask yourself how is my partner mirroring a part of myself that needs recognition, honoring, loving and healing? Gently and lovingly take care of the part of you that shows up in answer to this question. Notice how you now feel towards your partner. Ask yourself are there any other gifts for me to receive from this conflict?

You are beginning to alchemically change the conflict into treasures of pure gold. Come on the journey into so much more. Relationships are about turning all aspects of life into pure gold. You, your partner, family, friends and the planet are the treasure. You can "be" the miracle, the alchemist that opens up "heaven on earth." Experience a relationship with yourself and your partner that will blow your mind and elevate your spirit into pure joy. Allow that process to bring peace beyond all understanding to earth. So much more awaits us. Your amazing life is calling you.

We are multimdimensional beings and we are moving into higher dimensions on this planet. Ego and essence are merging in a great marriage. When ego and essence merge in our individuality we experience internal peace and that flows into exte
al planetary peace. When we peal the layers of our relationships and find the gifts being given to us in the different dimensions we discover and co-create peace, joy, extreme nurturance, connection with the ONE and amazing partnerships with those same attributes.