Rebuilding Broken Relationships: Can You Win Your Ex Back?

Breakups… heartbreak… we’ve all been there before, and it’s one of the most painful things in life. Sometimes, though, relationships can end prematurely. Whether it’s because one person simply wasn’t ready to commit, or because some exte al factor -- a job offer, a few years at a faraway college -- it’s always unfortunate when a relationship ends before its had a chance to blossom to its full potential. If you’re in that type of situation, thinking about that guy or girl that you let slip away, then you might also be wondering whether it’s worth trying to rekindle the romantic flame. Is there any hope that your ex will take you back? What if they don’t feel the same way? Even if you’ve just been dumped, the reality is that things are often less desperate than they seem: many relationship experts suggest that 9 out of 10 breakups are reversible with sufficient effort on behalf of one or both partners. One of the major hurdles to getting back together with an ex, though, is figuring out whether it’s even possible. There are a number of signs you can look for in your ex that usually indicate either a casual interest in reconnecting, or a genuine desire to quickly rebuild your broken relationship. One telltale sign of an ex that wants you back is both simple and obvious: they maintain communication! If your ex girlfriend / ex boyfriend continues to talk with you on a regular (or semi-regular) basis, that’s an extremely clear sign that they’re still at least interested in keeping tabs on you, even if it’s only because “you never know what will happen in the future”. Another sign -- and this one is a strong indication of linger romantic or sexual interest -- is flirting. Does your ex send you a naughty late-night text message every now and then? Do they invite you for coffee and casually touch your arm, or call you to talk about the ‘good old days’ when you were madly in love? However subtle the flirting is, it’s a strong signal that they may be willing to get back together. Jealousy is another major indicator of lingering interest on your ex’s behalf. Why would a past love be jealous of your current love life if they’re not still at least somewhat interested in you on a romantic level? If your ex is jealous about a person you’ve been hanging out with or gives you a hard time over someone you’ve been seeing or doing, then it means they probably still care (even if it’s on a subconscious level). Finally, while it’s certainly helpful to look for signs that your ex might be giving that indicate they’re willing to rekindle the romantic flame, there are many other factors that you’ll want to take into consideration: Was your relationship with this ex a strong and mature one, or was it more of a high-school fling? How long has it been since the two of you first broke up? Was it an ugly, nasty breakup with lots of fighting and anger, or was it a tearful, mutual decision to part ways? Relationship science suggests that all of these factors will play a role in determining whether or not a relationship can be salvaged. With all of that in mind, you should be better prepared to make a decision about your ex and whether its possible (and worthwhile!) to rekindle the spark. Either way, I wish you all the best of luck!