Relationship Problems - Are Domestic and Parental Responsibilities Key Issues for Most Couples?

One of the relationship problems that is probably the most common has to do with domestic and parental responsibilities.

These days there tends to be a belief that things have changed a lot and that it is not like it used to be, and that men are more involved in these activities

This may be accurate for some men, but for most it is not. Often when men do participate it is usually seen as ‘helping’, inferring it is really women’s work, and they are being generous by participating. When women do these things it is not thought of in terms of ‘helping’.

I recall seeing several couples where the women indicated other women thought they were lucky. Their comment to me was “how come I don’t feel so good?” No doubt because they were meant to be grateful.

Sometimes, when men are looking after their own children, this can be referred to as baby sitting or child minding. This can lead to issues as well as there is also an inference that it is not really their job.

Whenever surveys are done on these tasks, it still shows up that these are at the forefront in relationship problems. The surveys demonstrate that women overwhelmingly carry the load with these responsibilities.

This is in spite of the fact that more women are in the workforce than was previously the case. It really means that women are now doing additional work.

This leads to relationship problems because women feel this is unfair and are often resentful about this. This resentment can be an underlying factor leading to other outcomes for couples.

It can lead to more arguing and create distance between couples. It can mean they become isolated from each other affecting any connection between them, creating relationship communication problems.

Not surprisingly another partnership issue that follows on from here is that the circumstances have an effect on their sexual relationship.

The man is probably expecting to engage in some sexual activity and this underlying resentment interferes with the woman’s inclination for any such activity, and can sometimes be a case of relationship revenge.

When it comes to relationship problems there are any number of other difficulties we could be looking at here today. Such as all types of abuse that occurs in so many relationships.

We could also be looking at relationship trust issues, or jealousy, or cheating in relationships etc.

However I thought is was important to focus on the relationship issues associated with domestic and parental responsibilities because these are so central for every couple.

Okay there are those where parenting doesn’t come into it if you don’t have children.

But the domestic side is part of every relationship, and if this is not shared, which as we see from all surveys that are done, it is not, at least in most relationships, then this is going to create relationship problems that are not going to go away if this issue is not addressed.

In my ebook, “How To Have An Extraordinary Relationship” I go into much more detail about relationship issues. I look at the range of problems involved, from the more subtle to the more extreme, how to understand them, and what we can do to make changes.