Relationship Problems? - Three Steps That Lead You To The Magical Relationship You've Always Wanted

Are you involved in a relationship that isn't as happy as you had hoped for? Do you ever feel confused or frustrated about how to get the love and respect you desire? If so... you probably feel scared about what the future holds if you stay in this unhappy relationship. Read on to discover essential relationship advice that will gently guide you through the three steps you can take that will create true happiness in your life and in all of your relationships. Have you ever heard yourself say things such as: "Is this all there is?" "Will I ever really be happy?", or even "Do I really have a right to happiness at all?" if so, you're not alone. We believe you ask yourself these questions because every human being's deepest desire is to be happy. If you're not feeling happy and satisfied its inevitable you'll begin to ask yourself why. It's not a matter of whether you have a "right" to it or not. Happiness is a genuine human need, so yes you deserve to be happy--we all do. And as far as the second question, "Will you ever really be happy?" our answer is: It depends. Are you willing to take responsibility for your own happiness? We believe the shortest path to a happy life is found through conscious choice. You can only begin to make conscious choices when you learn how to:nn1. Uncover the Internal Root of Your Unhappiness We believe most of our internal unhappiness starts long before adulthood. We guess that's true for you as well. You may have heard it said, "Everywhere YOU go, there YOU are." If you're feeling unhappy we suggest you begin by looking internally. Start this process by identifying how you are feeling. Ask yourself: "when have I felt this way in the past?" you can almost bet, something probably happened in your past, most likely when you were very young. The odds are that whatever happened was painful, and because of it you developed a limiting belief about yourself and others. We believe that every limiting belief we hold as “the truth” leads us to make decisions about how we treat ourselves and others that reduce our ability to be happy. As an example, imagine a relationship where one of the people had a limiting belief that they are powerless and other people are cruel and demanding. How do you imagine this person would feel and how would they act if they believed this to be true? Our guess is they would probably feel angry and resentful because they believe that they were being controlled, and most likely scared about what their future would hold. Feeling that way, they would most likely end up behaving in ways such as: being cold and distant, being angry, or perhaps giving in to what the other person wants regardless of what they want. We only suggest you look at these things so that you become aware of what might be happening at an unconscious level. It's impossible to make any exte al changes in your life if you are unaware of what's going on internally.nn2. Stop Blaming Others for Your Unhappiness We are left powerless whenever we believe someone else can "make us" feel unhappy. We actually hand all our control over to them whenever we do this--and then how else would we feel but resentful and upset? We teach that it's impossible for anyone else to "make you" feel any particular way. It is YOUR thinking about the situation that causes your pain. Do you want your happiness to depend on other people acting the way you want? Or do you want your happiness to come from inside--from responding to life in harmony with what you value?nn3. Identify What's Most Important to You at a Core Level In order to have healthy, satisfying relationships with anyone, you have to know what is important to you. This requires going deep inside to discover what you most deeply value--what you most want to experience in your relationships and in your life. Visit our web site and download our free Values Exercise as a starting point. Whenever other people behave in ways you don't like you can use this to discover what you value most deeply. You can then start turning your attention to the qualities that would bring more joy to your life. We are not saying that you should or shouldn't stay in your present relationship. What we are suggesting is that, unless you start making conscious choices about your life and your happiness, things will most likely continue to go the way they have been going.nnOnce you learn to:n • Uncover the Internal Root of Your Unhappinessn • Stop Blaming Others for Your Unhappinessn • Identify What's Most Important to You at a Core Level Then it's possible to make conscious choices and take actions that will help you create the life full of authentic happiness that you desire. nnn