Relationships Advice: Cultivating an Intimate Relationship is like Taking Care of Precious Plants

There are those who are so talented at taking care of plants that whichever plant they care for will grow and live forever. But when it comes to cultivating a relationship with a partner, the story is different. Is there anything they can do to change this situation?

I've always been fascinated about people who know how to take care of plants; how much (and how often) to water them; whether to place them in a shaded area or in the sun; indoors or outdoors. When, how much and how often to trim them; when, if and how much fertilizers to add, and if so - whether to spread the fertilizers on the surface or dig a little bit deeper into the mud; whether to plant the plant in a small or a big pot; a tall or a low one, etc.
GOLDEN HANDS

As I saw people (mostly women) taking care of their plants I often thought they have “golden hands", a gift from heaven. I also thought they were born with this plant-talent; in other words, they have inherited it from their mothers. They often have this wonderful long-term relationship with their plants, some of them living a healthy life for years and years.
CARESSING, SINGING AND TOUCHING

During the years I also noticed that some of these high-talented women sing to the plants as they water them; caress them as they trim them; touch them with tende
ess as they look at them. The one and only conclusio
I could come up with was: these women develop an intimate relationship with their plants.
WHAT MAKES A RELATIONSHIP WITH A PARTNER DIFFERENT?

What amazed me then, time and again, was to realize that, in spite of all this great talent these women had, some of them did not manage to develop a long-term, healthy intimacy with a partner. As if they had no ability (or understanding) how to transfer their know-how with plants to an intimate relationship with a partner.
It made me wonder:

* Could it be that women who know to take care of plants so well can't develop true intimacy with a human partner due to factors which they might be unaware of?
* Could it be that with plants they feel in control, since plants don’t talk back at them? Don’t hurt them? Don’t harm their self-esteem?

Regardless what the reasons might be, those wishing to succeed in developing an intimate relationship with a partner should take the time to reflect and understand why they haven’t been successful until now.

THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF-AWARENESS

If you feel that gaining such an understanding may be beneficial to you, you may do so by reading articles and books on the subject, attend Self-Awareness workshops and/or having a few sessions with a therapist.
As you get to reflect, retrospect and become aware of whatever might be harming your relationships (or keep you away from one), you become empowered to make the necessary changes required to finding and cultivating a successful and healthy bond. Then, as you irrigate and cultivate the relationship, your love will blossom.