Resolution 4: Strengthen My Relationship With My Spouse

Today I am moving into a new category of resolution: Strengthening Relationships.

With an endless list of ways to strengthen the relationships that I have with my spouse, children and friends, I decided that I need to focus on only a few at a time to have a greater probability of success.

I plan on working on 5 select strategies for each of my key relationships, until I have successfully accomplished each.

Then, I will pick new ones to further develop and strengthen our bonds.

Since the relationship that I have with my husband is the most important one that I have, I will start with him.

It is imperative that I always remember that the success of our bond impacts not only my future, but just as importantly, our children’s.

I need to be a model of the wife that I hope my girls are someday and the kind that my son marries.

To do this, these are the 5 strategies that I have decided to employ first when strengthening my marriage:

1. Put my husband first -

While my husband and I are two very independent people, I need to always put him first or support him when the opportunity arises.

Rather it be date night instead of my Book Club night this month, or taking his side when disciplining the kids for something that I might not agree with, we need to stand as a solid front and take every rare opportunity we can for alone time.

Nothing makes me happier than hearing one of our children say to another that "there's no use trying to get a different answer (from the other parent)."

2. Always be open and honest -

Over the years I have learned that when there is complete honesty and transparency, there is a lot less judgment.

This is probably a combination of two factors:

One, if I am completely upfront about what I am doing, then he appreciates that I am not hiding it from him, and

Two, I am less likely to make questionable decisions because I know that I will fess up later.

While never drastic, this might be as simple as hanging out with a girlfriend that is not his favorite or a little shopping spree at Macy’s.

If I keep him in the loop, he never has to question rather I am being honest with him or not.

3. Support whatever endeavor he is undertaking -

With my husband’s best interests at heart, I really need to be mindful of being supportive of him at all times, even when the challenge presented seems like it will lead to a rough road ahead.

Rather it be starting a new business venture, going overseas for a job, flipping a house or just getting into better shape and eating healthier, I have done my best to be his rock every step of the way.

With this new year, I have to make sure to stay on track and keep us both focused on the end game, even though it sometimes means giving up some of the security that we would have otherwise enjoyed.

4. Help with tasks that take some of the burden off of him -

Without much effort I can take on a few additional responsibilities that would not normally fall to me, such as:

• pressure wash the house and the driveway, - mow the yard and de-weed the flowerbeds, - get his car cleaned out and washed, - get the oil changed and gas up his car, - take and pick up his dry cleaning, - clean out, organize and clean up his closet, - clean out the house and record donations for a surprise tax deduction, - get electronics and tools fixed or home repairs completed that he hasn’t gotten around to, - change the air filters, - take out the trash and recycling, - pay the bills and balance the checkbook, and
• gather tax documents to do year-end taxes.

5. Participate in a common hobby or interest -

Both of us need to brainstorm 15 - 20 “Bucket List” things that we want to do, then compare them to determine what might be a good start.

For example, we both want to learn a new language, walk the neighborhood together every night, learn how to cook, and travel the world.

With the power of the internet as well as an abundance of software, taking 30 minutes a day to learn a new language together would be a great start, though walking the neighborhood would be an easier way to kick this off.

Continuing to strengthen the relationship that I have with my husband is one of the most important things that I do in my daily life.

If we have a successful, loving marriage, then not only will we live a long, happy, fulfilled life together, but our children will have a greater chance of doing the same with their spouses one day.

Here's to another Inspired Minute!