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Saving A Relationship And Making It Work – Three Ways to Do It

Topic: ForgivenessPublished October 26, 2010

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When everything seem to went wrong, you might think that the end of the relationship is near and there's nothing you can do about it. But I’ve got some good news: even at its lowest point, things can be fixed. Saving a relationship is not an easy thing to do, but it can be easier if you know exactly what to do. Look For Reasons Deep down under everything, there’s got to be several tangible reasons why things are going sour. Probably your relationship’s lost its spark, it’s not romantic any longer. It might be that something has changed in one of your lives. Probably you aren't communicating well anymore or enjoying each other’s company. Being unfaithful is often a problem, but I’ll tell you something a lot of people don’t realize: cheating in most cases isn’t a cause; it’s an indication. For an individual to cheat, there has to be something wrong already. Nobody in a happy relationship cheats on their lover. One way to fix things is to take a moment together and make up a list of whatever you like and a list of whatever you don’t like about each other. I know what you’re thinking, “That seems brutal!” Well, the truth is not often easy to digest. Yet, getting these things out in the open helps find the reasons for the unhappiness. It’s time for you to be completely honest. And also, your “likes” list can help you both remember the good things and realize your relationship’s worth saving. Excellent Communication Everyone knows that it’s supposed to be about good communication, but what is that exactly? There are 3 things you need to communicate well: Forgiveness – Both of you did a few awful things probably. Well, anything bad from the past will be erased and you’re about to start clean. Forgive each other and don’t play the “blame game.” This is where you’re both pointing the finger and saying “YOU did this and YOU did that.” Saving a relationship means forgiving the past and making a plan for the future. Honesty – Place all of the cards on the table. Only total honesty will resolve things. It can hurt sometimes, but it’s the only way to make it work. Good Listening – Communicating is about a lot more than speaking. When you’re revealing how you feel and laying out the genuine truth, you have to listen to each other. Now’s not the time to offer a point-for-point rebuttal. No excuses or explanations, simply pay attention to what each other need to say. Fix it Saving a relationship is a joint venture. You have to make a plan for the future that will work, and you have to make it alongside one another. It has to be a good agreement for both of you. When we’re attempting to fix things, there’s a tendency to just go along with what the other person wants. That is a big mistake. This is likely to make things better in the short-term, yet it means one of you will likely be unhappy eventually. Those issues that caused your near-breakup will certainly come sneaking back in. You need to both be happy with your plan for saving your relationship. In the beginning of this article, we made a list of problems, right? Now we are going to handle them one-by-one. First, put in priority on the list. Start with the most important or biggest issue, and work on that one first. Do not try to fix everything at the same time. If both of you can work together toward the same goal, the problem WILL be fixed. Once you start to see things change for the better, once that spark is back and you’re both remembering why you were ever together, you’ll see that saving a relationship is easy to do and well worth it.

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