Searching For Meaning

The more I write, the more I read, the more I seek growth, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. One of the most recent books that I read was that of Viktor Frankl, “Man’s Search For Meaning”, the chronicles of his experiences in a World War II Concentration Camp. My first simple observation was that it is all too easy to bemoan our circumstances, whilst not appreciating the real suffering of so many around us. However, that would do no justice to the depth of this fascinating publication. Frankl developed Logotherapy, a form of existential analysis which revolves around the premise that humans are motivated primarily by finding a meaning in life. This can be compared with the theories of Freud and Nietzschean, who respectively developed schools of thought that contended that our lives are based around seeking pleasure and seeking power. Very few of us will ever replicate the influence of Sigmund Freud, Adler Nietzschean, or indeed Viktor Frankl, but our experiences of life would possibly lead to the conclusion that they are all wrong, and they are also all right. I would assert that most of us seek some type of mixture of all of these elements. At different stages in life, I could have been a disciple of any of these philosophies. I am sure that I am not the only person who sought elements of Freudian pleasure in my teenage and early adult years, to be replaced soon after by Nietzschean’s ambition and desire for influence. As I progressed through my twenties, I might admit to harbouring a combination of both, craving status and thrill-seeking. There is merit in both, but I certainly would never wish to live my life by either alone. Would it be controversial to suggest that we are always looking for something? I doubt it very much. It seems that our society is one ruled by what we do not have rather than what we do, that our minds are dominated by what we think we need as opposed to what we have, by improvement rather than contentment. Frankl argued that, “without meaning, people fill the void with hedonistic pleasures, power, materialism, hatred, boredom, or neurotic obsessions and compulsions.” Now I would contend that we should never stop trying to improve ourselves as individuals, but also that we need to balance the quest for growth between the material and emotional. All the material riches on earth mean nothing without emotional and psychological satisfaction. Frankl is spiritual, and you sense that his model is partly derived of faith, but not completely so. He was an Austrian Jew who would later marry a Catholic. He describes 3 means by which we can discover meaning in our lives: (1) Creating a work or doing a deedrn(2) Experiencing something or encountering someonern(3) The attitude we take toward unavoidable suffering Perhaps, we can describe this in modern parlance as: (1) Contribution to our individual and wider world, whether in the workplace or in our personal spheresrn(2) Love – which in my opinion does not have to be romantic but at least a genuine appreciation of the utter need and sometimes helplessness that comes with itrn(3) Character – how are we prepared to grow in adversity and use it to the betterment of ourselves and others If I claim to have been happier during these last 2 years of my life than at any other point in my life, there is no reason to call in the men in white coats. It is a truth borne from a peace that I have never experienced, and whilst I attribute it all to my faith and relationship with Christ, there is no doubt that it falls completely into Frankl’s model of Logotherapy. Love came into my life in the shape of my late fiancée Danielle. Until then, I had no idea how to love, as I was incapable even of loving myself. However, her intense love and faith gave me an appreciation not only of what it was like to be loved, but also to give it freely. “In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.” ~ Albert Schweitzer And even though she is no longer with us, her legacy to me is that incredible love, and my desire to live my life giving to others as opposed to seeking and taking, the latter an indictment of my values in earlier life, the former the cornerstone on which my relationship with God is founded. In terms of character, I have found mine only during these last few years, in my attitude to the unavoidable suffering of grief. It was Lao-Tzu who once said that, “being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage” – I was a coward until faced with the loss of something in my life that I truly loved. I quote Frankl in “Man’s Search For Meaning”, where he states: “The way in which a man accepts his fate and all the suffering it entails, the way in which he takes up the cross, gives him ample opportunity – even under the most difficult circumstances – to add a deeper meaning to his life. It may remain brave, dignified and unselfish. Or in the bitter fight for self-preservation he may forget his human dignity and become no more than an animal. Here lies the chance for a man either to make use of or to forgo the opportunities of attaining the moral values that a difficult situation may afford him. And this decides whether he is worthy of his sufferings or not.” Once again, I attribute my very self-preservation to God, but that is not surprising when considering what I have already said of Frankl’s own spirituality. Besides, whilst I may think that I lost, how can I possibly compare my plight to the loss of his wife, his possessions and his freedom? The idea of ‘creation of a work’ is to me, unlike others slightly more complex. However, there can be no doubt that I fully understand exactly what Frankl meant. Essentially, we can create meaning for ourselves by completing work that is unique to our very selves, work which becomes the essence of everything that we wish to accomplish. This will vary for each individual, and whilst some will find artistic fulfilment, for example in writing of experiences and knowledge unique to them, others may have more career oriented goals in terms of achievement or setting up their own organisation. In my own personal experience, this has manifested itself in terms of what I want to achieve from my work. If my goals were once aligned to Nietzschean and need for status and power, that is no longer the case. I have always loved my work and career within a corporate and commercial setting, but it no longer gives me any type of satisfaction. My desires are no longer derived of financial need and job title, but in my spiritual need to spend my life in the service of others. It is a situation with which I am constantly wrestling as I seek to fulfil the meaning that I have discovered. I could never criticise those who have different goals than I, for I have openly admitted to having previously been blinded by a search for riches and power. However, what I have grown to understand is that power can come only in the form of total contentment from what lies within, not from a cheque book or a plaque on an office door but from the heart. It has taken me so very long to reach this type of contentment, but it has come as a result of finding the meaning in my life that had previously been non-existent. It is borne of love for others and self, but mainly in God, and of having understood that in the times of darkest adversity, the human mind has the resilience to grow beyond recognition. “The journey between what you once were and who you are now becoming is where the dance of life really takes place” ~ Barbara DeAngelis You do not have to follow my route to the ball, but when you get there, make sure that you have it in your heart and soul to dance without worry or regret.