Secret Confessions

Confession is the first step to accept what is inside you. Because very often, your peers are not the worst judges – you yourself are the most merciless judge. But before you can truly judge what you did or what you did not do, you have to be honest to yourself and confront yourself with the facts. You may have hurt someone you loved, or you might be in love with someone you should not be in love with. Or you have started to smoke again after years of abstinence. All these things might be inside you, unknown by the people in your everyday life. You walk past these people, talk to them, laugh and work with them, but still they won't know what bad experience or wrongdoing holds you in a firm grip on the inside. They look at your face and see the same person they have always seen looking at you. But on the inside, you feel remote from all these people, and remote from the person you were before the feeling of guilt or the pressure to get rid of these feelings have taken over your heart. Whatever the people tell you, it just won't reach your heart, because your heart is so occupied with what you hid inside it. But you cannot conquer this feeling inside you as long as you are not true to yourself about the fact, that there is something hidden inside you. And as long as you hide it from the world, you will also hide it from yourself. The only way to truly encounter the hidden pain, the fear or the guilt is to speak it out. Because by speaking out, you will for the first time truly realize what it is that hides inside you. And only on that basis can you start judging whatever you have done. Only on that basis, you can begin to better what has been done wrong. But speaking out is not always that easy. Sometimes, there are things inside you that are just not made for many ears. What will people think if they hear about your secret love? Or the bad joke you played on a classmate? Won't they judge you just as you judge yourself? Maybe and maybe not. But running the risk and telling everybody? Your first step into the direction of redemption does not have to go so far. You can easily start with secret confessions. Confessions made to good friends that you trust or – if even that is too much – to an audience that will never know who you are, that does not even need to know your name. In anonymous internet forums or confession pages you can make a start with secret confessions that can never be uttered in public, but that can easily be put on the web where no one ever finds out who is writing.