Article

Sex Equals Sleep?

Topic: IntimacyPublished August 20, 2009

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Most men snooze after sex, but do women? Personally, I become energized in a relaxed, relieved, happy, “let’s go get some things accomplished now” kind of a way. I recently heard about a study on The Today Show where men and women respond differently to partnering, mating, and being married. Men are supposed to live much longer than women do simply because they are married. They obviously didn’t interview my husband, who began turning grey rapidly the very moment he decided to marry me! He doesn’t always sleep well either just because he is married and sleeping next to a woman, as the study suggested. He is usually up walking around in the middle of the night at least a few nights a week. This, in turn keeps me up. There is indeed something nice about a warm body sleeping next to you for lulling you back into sleep. “Women generally sleep less soundly when sharing a bed with a romantic partner,” a study published this month in Sleep and Biological Rhythms found. The study reports that men actually sleep better. Again, they did not interview my husband who lovingly nudges me when I am snoring. Just this morning, a friend was walking with me when she mentioned that she slept in her special room last night. Turns out, she has her own room that she uses from time to time. It is decorated with furniture from her childhood room and has a B & B feel. Some nights, she sneaks in to read or sleep if her husband is snoring, or simply to grab some “me” time if she has given it up for the children all weekend. Through five articles I googled just a few seconds ago, I discovered that many couple are sleeping apart. Having had many restless nights myself over the last few years, I attribute them to a few things: Not accomplishing what I needed to during the day thereby awakening my “monkey brain”; not eating correctly or exercising enough early in the day; and, of course, worrying. Exercise early in the day for me is my miracle sleep pill. So is a warm bath before bed, a glass of wine occasionally, and creating a ritual that sends the message to your subconscious that it is time for bed. I have also included some goals for my ritual and sleeping more soundly: going to sleep around the same time, turning off the computer and work, and reading for inspiration. In addition, thinking of my dreams often leads me into sleep time, as do bed time stories that sometimes just arrive with the croaking of the frogs and the moon that hangs above. I find sleep , dreams and stories so delicious and restorative now, that I often linger in bed a few more minutes in the morning just to express gratitude for the miracle and power of sleep. I have loved hearing what inspires you to sleep well. I would love to hear more! www.spiritoflivingwell.com

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