It is not easy deciding to put an end to your relationship especially if you have invested a lot on it and it took years in the making. You have also made plans with this person and you don’t want to waste the chance. However, it does not mean that you should remain in the relationship simply because you are afraid of throwing it away. If the relationship is no longer healthy and it does nothing to help you grow as a person, there is no point in staying.
If you are on a crossroads right now and you don’t know whether to push through with the relationship or not, here are some signs that will tell you it is time to put an end to the relationship.
Trust is no longer presentrnRelationships are always built on trust. The moment trust goes away, relationships start to crumble. When you feel like you can no longer trust your partner or you start getting jealous for no reason, something must be wrong. It does not mean that your intuition is right. It means that this relationship does not have enough trust for it to survive further challenges in the future. Besides, lack of trust creates too much negative feelings and emotions. You also seem bothered all the time. If it happens, you won’t even focus on what you need to do. Staying in a relationship where trust is gone would be a total waste of time.
Your values are differentrnYou stay in a relationship because you have a lot of things in common. Perhaps, it is true that opposites attract, but only in terms of some interests. If the differences are in terms of values, it is a totally different story. You can’t stay in a relationship when you believe in totally different things. This is deeply rooted within you. This could potentially cause more arguments in the future. The moment you start becoming uncomfortable with your partner’s viewpoints in life, it is a sign that should tell you that you have to put an end to the relationship. It could just get worse in the future as there is no way of reconciling the differences. You also shouldn’t make compromises especially when it comes to values.
When you make plans, you don’t have your partner in the picturernThis is perhaps one of the biggest signs that your relationship has to end. You don’t just make plans on your own when you are in a relationship. When you think of goals, you consider your partner too. If you no longer care where your partner is in that picture when planning for your future, it means that you really don’t intend to stay long in this relationship. It is fairer if you decide to just put an end to the relationship now than wait until it is too late to do anything about it.
The fun is outrnRelationships should bring out the best in you. Given the fact that you are already faced with lots of problems with your studies, work or family, you must find someone who makes you feel better. Having a partner who understands you and would make you laugh is a great thing. This is common among partners who are just starting the journey. This should be sustained no matter how long you have been together. The moment you are no longer having fun with your partner, it means that you should consider ending it. Don’t stay in a relationship out of pity or in hopes that someday, it would be fun for both of you again. You will just keep trying too hard and it no longer creates true happiness.
You are fantasizing about someone else in a serious wayrnIt is not cheating when you fantasize about someone and not act upon the fantasy. It is common for people to think or admire others even if they are in a committed relationship. You are still human and it is perfectly fine if you appreciate how others look like. However, if there is someone out there whom you fantasize and feels the same way about you, this could lead to a potential problem with your current partner. This gets worse when you make plans having this person in mind. If you think there is hope in having relationships with this person, just put an end to your relationship before you become a cheater. It is also unfair for your partner when you keep fantasizing someone else while you are in a committed relationship. You will just feel guilty all the time.
You don’t see yourself marrying this personrnYou enter a relationship with hopes that one day, you will marry that person. Of course, you don’t think of it right away but you always have it at the back of your mind. When you start thinking of marriage and you don’t feel excited, you are with the wrong person. This is true especially if you have been together for some time and nothing happens. Worse, the idea of marriage makes you feel terrified if it is with this person. It does not mean you should always be ready to take the next step. Sometimes, you have to be together for a long time before you get comfortable with the idea of marriage. If it does not happen no matter how hard you try, you definitely have to let this person go.
You are just not in love anymorernThis is the final nail in the coffin. You no longer feel the same way about your partner as you used to. Your relationship is starting to become cold. Even if you are not having major arguments, you just don’t feel well. You are just in this relationship for the sake of being together and not wasting the years you have together. If this is the only glue that holds you together, you better put an end to it. You are just wasting each other’s time.
rnBe clear with your messagernWhen you finally decide to end this relationship, you have to be clear with your feelings. You can discuss why you decide to end it so that your partner will also understand it. You want it to end well just out of respect for each other and avoid having major arguments. When you are clear with your thoughts, perhaps this breakup won’t be as difficult as you deemed it to be.
It is like seeing
business signs. When they are clear and all the details are given, you can easily locate the place that you are searching for. However, if the signs look messy and the font is too small for you to read, you won’t find the place at all.
Be clear with your intention to breakup and the reason why so that both of you can move forward with your life and be in a better situation.
Ultimately, you have to realize that not all relationships end in marriage and some of them at some point, have to end. This doesn’t make you less of a person though. It also doesn’t mean you are a failure as a person. You have just decided to move forward and be fair to yourself and your former partner. You know that moving forward without clear goals together would be a total waste of time. You could have spent it looking for someone whom you will be totally happy with.
“Don’t cry when the sun is gone, because the tears won’t let you see the stars.” – Violeta Para
Rest assured, even if this one has ended, you can still find someone to make you genuinely happy in the future. You just have to learn from this failed relationship and believe that someone out there is really meant for you.