Single Moms, You Know What's Best For You

I received a baby gift this weekend from a college friend. He is one in the group of guys I used to hang out with my sophomore year. I remember the days like they were yesterday. He used to knock on my door so we could grab breakfast before walking to class. I even remember what I ordered each time for breakfast, two eggs--over medium, toast, a glazed doughnut, half of a grapefruit, OJ, and milk... and I would eat it all. Between going out, football games, school, and meals, we were together a lot.

I haven't spoken to him since I was pregnant. Instead of talking about college, football, or jobs like we normally do, today we talk about babies and kids. He asks about Blaise and how things are going. As I relate my story to him, especially about the difficulties with breastfeeding and Blaise's weight, he says my story sounds like his.

After I listen to his story (he was right it was very similar to mine), I say to him, "I hate to say it but it makes me feel a little better, no offense, that you have a similar story."

I don't want anyone else to endure difficulties, but the fact is, people do, it's part of life. And to know that someone else went through a similar ordeal, and whose child is great, allows me to breathe a little easier.

He replies, "No mother shouts it from the rooftop, 'Hey I'm having problems breastfeeding.'"

And my answer is... Why not? I'm not saying you have to tell every Larry, Curly, and Moe, but why be ashamed of it? Why hide it? If you've read my back-story, you already know I'm not perfect. I have never claimed to be nor will I ever. I make mistakes, and that's okay.

Why not let others know things didn't happen the way you planned, something doesn't work for you even though it has for thousands of others, or you disagree with that method. I'll let you in on something... it's not a secret. Even though people act like it is... we all know that YOU, my friend, are NOT perfect. I know it. You know it. The person next to you knows it. Everyone knows it, yet we want to act like we don't. We put on a facade... a mask... a shield, acting like, "Well, if she can do it. So can I." Or "If it works for her, I'll make it work for me."

But it doesn't happen like that... and it shouldn't. You have to find your own way. You have to establish your own routine, pattern, or method. You have to discover what may be the "norm" may not be the norm for you. And that's fine.

It's time to realize and recognize that you are you. You are doing your absolute best with what you are given. What is good for some may not be good for you. You are not them. Your kids are not their kids. So, uncover what's going to fit in your life. Listen to your mind and heart, and follow them. Don't follow others. Be your own leader, and you'll discover your way works best for your family!