Six Steps for Increasing Your Self-Confidence

Do any of these self-critical thoughts ever run through your mind in an endless loop; "Why do I do such stupid things?" or "What a jerk I am!" or "What's wrong with me?" If so, how would you like to edit that loop and turn those negative thoughts into a self-confidence building pep talk? of our waking day we spend criticizing ourselves? It's like we're tuned in to the Top 40 of Mental Blues radio station. Have you experienced how really horrible you can end up feeling within moments of tuning in to the self-criticism station? And if you stay tuned long enough, how cynical and resigned you can become, despairing that things can ever change? I Don't Remember Subscribing to Bad Vibe FM The self-criticism station started broadcasting to you at a very young age. We are trained to believe that there is a good and bad way to act, and a right and wrong way to do things. It follows that if these categories exist, we must fall into one of them. That's why You Be the Judge is one of the most popular programs on the Self-Criticism Channel. This is the program where we learned to judge ourselves in the same ways we are judged by others. When we do something we are unhappy about, or someone else shows dissatisfaction with our actions, we take on the role of judge and pronounces our own verdicts: How selfish, Rude, Stupid, unacceptable, uncaring. . . And the list goes on. There is practically no end to the negative verdicts we can apply to ourselves when we are displeased with our words or actions. The unfortunate outcome is that when all of our thoughts are so tightly focused on blaming, judging, and criticizing ourselves; we tend to miss seeing the reality of what's happening. Our judgments become our only reality, and what we focus our attention on grows in our experience. How Can I Tune In To Good Vibe FM? Not so fast! You've been listening to this station for this long time. You might as well learn to receive the benefit that's available here. There is actually a hidden gift in this constant stream of criticism--the gift of discovering what's deeply important to you. We have discovered there is a message hidden within the broadcast that you need to "decode" in order to get the benefit. If you listen to these messages with careful, focused attention you'll be able to translate them into what is most important to you--what will best support you in creating the life you want. How do you do this? Focus your attention on discovering what you value that's been encoded in your self-critical messages. We believe that every criticism is a poorly expressed communication of a deeply held value. Those judgments are actually the first step to a positive self-image. They let you know, with painful certainty, that something you value is MISSING. By acquiring a few simple self-awareness tools you can easily and gently turn the Self-Criticism Station into the Confidence Building Pep Talk Channel. It is just matter of taking your self-judgments and decoding them to see the values they are trying to communicate. Six Steps to Create a Positive Self-Image Here are six simple steps you can take to do this: 1. Download our free Values Exercise Worksheet and use it to help you identify what you value in your situations. http://www.focusedattention.com/resources/resources.htm 2. The next time the Self-Criticism Station starts broadcasting the continuous loop of self-judgment, ask yourself: "How would I describe what happened if I didn't have any criticism or judgments about it?" You can do this by pretending you are a news reporter broadcasting a description of the events of the situation. 3. Using the Values Worksheet, identify what's important to you that is missing in the specific situation. Some examples may include statements like: "I really want to have more CLARITY about my work situation so I can be more EFFECTIVE" or "I'm so tense when I go out with friends; I want to be more RELAXED have more FUN." 4. Then ask yourself: "How would this situation be different if what I value--what is important to me--were present in the situation?" 5. Finally, ask yourself: "What concrete action can I take in this moment that would help me experience more of what I value and create more of what I want in this situation?" 6. Then take those actions! Stay Tuned In To Good Vibe FM - Your Confidence Building Channel Follow these six steps and you will tune in to a confidence building program every time. Before you know it, that continuous loop inside your head will turn into a confidence building pep talk that will improve your self-image and day-by-day bring you closer to experiencing what you want most in life, and feeling great about it!