Some Sick But Original Halloween Costume Ideas

People are a herd, and there are few truly original Halloween costume ideas. If you don't mind getting a little crazy, here are some costume ideas that you've probably never seen before. Just a little heads up: many of these ideas aren't PG-13.

You can't go wrong going as a child molester. This costume is better for two adults (never use a child with the costume), one who is really tall, the other really short.

A piece of shit. Wear an all brown outfit. Then carefully glue peanuts and corn to yourself.

Abraham Lincoln. Hardly original, but when someone really takes the time to do Abe right, with a good looking beard and a real suit, it's always a cool costume. Especially if you have a midget friend who goes as Mini Lincoln.

I love the Brittany Spears costume. Saw this chick at a party who shaved half her head, wore a strait jacket, and wrote you drive me crazy on the front and oops I did it again on the back. You read that right. She shaved half her head. Just half. She went balls to the wall on their Halloween costume. Who can't respect that?

Any woman can go as Monica Lewinsky with white stains on her dress. The more corrupt politicians become, and the more our republic declines, the better this costume will get.

One kind of cool costume I saw was Dick Cheney wearing camouflage. The guy went around recruiting everyone to enlist at the part. Some people don't get this costume, but it is a perfect mockery of Cheney's hypocrisy, as he never served.

Halliburton Man, while we're on the Cheney thing, was one of the most original costumes I ever saw. Dude made a superhero costume with the Halliburton logo on his chest instead of Superman S.

Hannibal the Cannibal is the most memorable character of modern literature, of books written since the 1950s or so. That is always a can't miss costume.

This one black friend of mine went as Tiger Woody. Had a tiny golf club sticking up out of his zipper on his pants. Everyone laughed. Some didn't get the golf club, next night he abandoned all subtlety and hung a huge fake penis from his crotch, and had a friend go as his caddy with the words Tiger Woody on his back.

This gorgeous large breasted girl went as a nun, but dressed very revealingly. It was simple, but definitely a thought provoking costume.

A Viking is a costume that isn't done enough, if you have the build for it.

Another great costume is just a realistic Indian costume. Some Indians consider it disrespectful, but honestly, who has really seen a real Indian anymore? A native American came to my party and dressed in authentic garb, and it was like a college class or something, in a good way.

Saw a guy go as Al Gore. He taped the patent for the internet to his back, wore a fuel meter necklace, and spoke in long boring robotic monotones all night. Hilarious.

Kiss is one of those costumes that will never, ever, ever, ever, get old.

The tear-drop headed grey ET is being worn by more and more people, but frankly sucks. Don't succumb to it.

Star Trek. It never grows old. You can't be a nerd though. No nerd should do Star Trek. You need a great Spock, plus Bones and Captain Kirk, maybe Scotty. And never neglect the two phaser fodder red shirted dudes that die most episodes.

If you're single and non-nerdy, one of the best costumes is a Jedi. Wave your hand at some hot chick, and try the Jedi mind trick on her. You find me devilishly handsome and will take me home with you. It may take hundreds of tries and dozens of tries, but eventually you'll find a woman weak minded enough to succumb to it.