Soul Searching

I watched the movie "My Sister's Keeper" yesterday. It's a great film which tugs away at your heart strings. I am really glad we watched it at home instead of going out to the movie theatre; I used more than my fair share of Kleenex!

The film raised questions about death and what happens next. Do you meet up in the afterlife? What happens? Of course we do not know for sure, but many of us do have a real sense that there is more to life than the current life which we are living. The first time I contemplated this issue was as a teenager, when my father passed away. Until then, I really don't think the subject of spirituality had been paramount in my mind.

It is usually only when one is confronted with death in your own close environment that you begin to think about your spiritual nature. When my father died, a family friend came to see me and introduced me to various different theories about the journey of souls through the cycle of life and death. This gentleman was convinced that he and I were twin souls, and from then until recently he had a knack of knowing what was happening in my life, and in my more secret thoughts.

I remember a conversation we had where he, I know, tried to guide me. I have always felt that I let him down, that I let "us" down; that I should have had more insight into his life and his thoughts. I tried to do so in a few different ways, but never really "got there". I found this very frustrating, and still do, because I am a "believer". I want to be able to sense and see things with more clarity. I would dearly love to have greater understanding.

Sometimes I have great moments of clarity; I see very clear messages and feel a welcome guidance and wonderful support from my spirit guides. At other times I feel as if I am blind and deaf; I feel as if I have drifted off course and don’t know quite how to get back on that frequency.

This sense of frustration and helplessness returned powerfully to me today, when I was told that this gentleman, my twin soul, had passed away a month ago. I had not sensed it. Ought I not to have done so? Or is this a demonstration of my lack of understanding or having gotten onto the wrong wavelength? I believe that if the roles had been reversed he would undoubtedly have known.

I am left today with a clear sense that I am being told something. And I think that “something” is that I should try harder to get back onto that frequency; that I am meant to look a little deeper and try a little harder and that in doing so a greater understanding will unfold.

I don't believe in pure co-incidence. Yesterday I watched that movie, today I asked a friend to give me a title for a short article and she replied "what about soul searching?" and then I found out about Jack.

I am sure that there are many people who have shared these types of thoughts and similar frustrations. We are, at heart, aware of our spiritual nature, although often we ignore or deny it.

Roseanna Leaton, specialist in hypnotherapy downloads for health, happiness and well being.