The idea of being a “good person” is just another false sense of self that we can buy into. Being a good person is not the point of spirituality, interestingly enough. It is not the goal. It’s not about being some superloving and compassionate saint. It’s about realizing who you really are. With this realization, you may find that you naturally become very loving and compassionate, just like the many others who have done so before throughout history, but that’s secondary. It’s not the primary focus. It’s a superficial change that tends to occur in the presence of the deeper inner realization.
One identity that I’ve been playing for a long time is being “a good person.” I was a good student in school, avoided getting in trouble, was a law-abiding citizen in life, and so on. There’s nothing wrong with any of this at all. It’s simply that none of these define who you are.
self-definition:
If you stopped being “a good person,” would you cease to exist?
Well no, of course not. Then it’s not who you really are.
You are not a good person.
But what does the mind do when it hears the phrase, “You are not a good person?”
That’s right. It goes straight to its opposite. “If I’m not a good person, then that means I must be a bad person.”
But is that true? If you stopped playing the part of “bad person,” would you cease to exist?
Again, no. You are neither a good person nor a bad person. You are not definable along any part of the made-up spectrum between good and bad. In fact, you are not definable at all. You exist beyond duality.
Integrating the Dark and the Light:
Inside you you have the potential to be a very dark person. A killer and a rapist.
Inside you you have the potential to be a very light person. A healer and a lover.
You have the potential to draw forth from any energy and play any part. You are ALL that is.
Getting stuck in being “a good person” is only half of the story. You are the good AND the bad. You are the light AND the dark. And yet you are neither for you are beyond both entirely.
With this comes the acceptance of the dark portions of yourself and the willingness to face everything and be anything if necessary, for it is all you. With this realization that the darkness is just as much a part of you as the light, any remaining unresolved darkness within may come rising to the surface to be released now that you have stopped repressing it. As it comes up, it’s almost saying, “Are you really willing to face me?”
You may experience fear, powerful emotion, tears, and even the feeling of dying, yet none of these experiences are you. You are the awareness which is witnessing these experiences.
As the darkness arises, it is accepted and loved as it is without being judged or asked to change and thus you are healed as you transmute the darkness directly into light with the Love of the Self. You become lighter. More enlightened. Filled with light.
This is about accepting yourself FULLY as you are, warts and all. It’s about being willing to look directly at all aspects of yourself without running away, no matter what. It’s the willingness to bare your soul and be who you truly are.
Accepting Others Unconditionally:
The world we experience basically functions as a mirror to reflect back to us our own internal state of being. One interesting thing about accepting the darkness within yourself is that you find you automatically begin accepting the darkness within all others.
You’ll begin to drop the need for others to change in order for you to accept them. Thus your love flows ever more freely and unconditionally. You no longer hold back your Love for any reason. Your Love becomes truly unconditional.
Is Who You Are Actually Okay?:
We have this deep dark fear that if we are who we really are, we won’t be acceptable.
Religions teach us that we are sinners by nature. Original sin, as it’s called. We need to do the right things and be the right person in order to (hopefully) get into heaven.
Advertisers tell us we aren’t good enough by default and need their products to make us better.
As little kids, we play naturally and those around us tell us “no” or “yes, good boy, good girl” as a way to get us to conform to their standards rather than be ourselves. We learn that we’re not acceptable as we are and need to change who we are to fit in and be loved, to be safe and secure and protected.
There’s this movement in our society today for self-improvement, often based upon the idea that we’re not good enough just the way we are and we need to become something or do something or achieve something to become valuable and worthy.
There’s this deep deep drive in our society to be a “better” person, whatever that means to us.
Fear of Surrender to our True Nature:
There’s this fear that if we let go totally and just be ourselves, whoever we find ourselves to be, maybe we won’t be good enough. Maybe we’ll act out all those crazy thoughts that our mind thinks if we totally let go of control of resisting.
There’s the fear that our true nature is somehow evil and through surrender we will fall into the darkness, never to return.
Are you willing to find out? In the name of Truth and no longer living a lie, are you willing to be who you really are, at all costs?
Are you willing to face your own death? I’m not saying you need to want to die, but are you willing to face it? Are you willing to face the destruction of all sense of self? Are you willing to lose everything you’re now holding on to and think is real?
Are you willing to let go of being seen as a good person, as opposed to something else?
Are you willing to let go of ALL sense of identity and all beloved sense of self and dive straight into the unknown?
Are you willing to sit here, not knowing, not trying to figure out, not trying to fix it, and not trying to get anywhere to escape who you are?
Are you willing to just be?
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