Stimulating Your Own Mental Health

When health is absent, wisdom cannot reveal itself, art cannot manifest, strength cannot fight, wealth becomes useless, and intelligence cannot be applied. ~ Herophilus

Do you realize that a Super Mom’s life is a life of giving? While you’re taking care of them, who’s taking care of you? Can you begin to factor yourself into the equation? What would you like to add to your life that would support and nurture you?

What is Good Mental Health?

Mental health is a pretty broad term, and can change from person to person based on their experiences. I think a good definition has to include the well-being of your brain itself, plus a harmonious psychological and emotional state. Does it seem humorous to think about this while you know all about the challenges you have as a Super Mom that pull you this way and that?

The care and nurturing of your family has to begin with the folks at the top, and one of those folks is you, Super Mom. If you are not healthy and well-cared for yourself, it will be impossible for you to do an adequate job of caring for them. So let’s see what that might include for you.

Balance

Do you remember the saying that “all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy?” That is true of you, too. I’d like to share a lovely idea with you called The Mental Sandwich.

Part workr
Part playr
Part serious thinkingr
Part restful enjoyment

If you have those four parts in your experience, then you are experiencing great balance in your life and your Super Mom duties can be handled easily. But if you are not balanced, you now know right where to work to make that balance happen for yourself. Here are the ideas again:

Part workr
Part playr
Part serious thinkingr
Part restful enjoyment

Socialization

Super Moms need conversations with adults. In fact, they long for them. This applies to mothers of teenagers as well as those with toddlers. Providing for a child’s needs and only entertaining a conversation with your children is not enough for a mom. You must create situations where you interact with adults, so that you feel nurtured, too. Enjoy a date night with your spouse, or a girls night out, or attend a class that interests you.

A Super Mom’s Support List for Staying Mentally Healthy

In business, networking is mandatory for success. You need to have a list of go-to folks to help you get things done at work. The same thing is true for Super Moms. You also need your list of folks who can support you because the demands of your job can sometimes feel like your sanity is being threatened. Friends can help.

1. A mom in the same situation as you are. Mom problems are more often than not resolved by suggestions from friends who are going through the same stage of child development as you are. She “gets it.” And here’s an opportunity for one on one adult time while your children play together.

2. A person who does not have kids. This is the go-to-gal with whom you can resume your other life – the one you had before you had kids. This is the person who keeps you up on the latest and greatest fashions, movies, etc. – you know, adult things? Hire a babysitter for an hour and go spend it with this friend. You’ll never be sorry.

3. A buddy who will always be there for you. This is the lady who is super organized, always has time to help you out, who can listen and give good advice that’s practical, who can come to your rescue if you need it. Be sure to be especially sensitive to this woman, because her needs get buried and then YOU can step up to help her.

4. A Friend Who’s Glamorous. This feminine side of you still needs nurturing even if you don’t even wear lip gloss these days. She will represent the you who used to be that glamorous, and she will be an inspiration for you and a reminder to get glamorous some of the time. She might also have a wardrobe you can borrow in a pinch. Be sure to tell her how she augments your Super Mom life.

5. A Friend Who Isn’t Afraid to Be Honest. You don’t have time in your challenging mom experience to waste time being all “nice” with your fine self. You need someone to point out the blemishes, but who loves you just the same. You don’t need someone who’s bossy – just someone who’s blunt and honest. Be sure she knows that once you live with her honest words for a few days so you can absorb their truth, you’ll get back to her.

6. I’ve Walked In Your Shoes Friend. A mature woman who’s already lived what you are now experiencing can be an invaluable help to you, because she identifies through her own experiences what you’re going through and by sharing the wisdom she unfolded while living her own life, you can have the “frosting right off the top of the cake” so to speak and get really practical help for your Super Mom situations.

I was privileged to hear about an all men’s group where one of the fellows shared something horrible he’d gone through. This started an avalanche of the sharing of similar experiences from the other men in the group. The leader of the group said “Guys, it is this precise kind of sharing among women that I believe let’s women live longer than men.” That story really struck me, and it made me so grateful for the women in my life with whom I can share regularly. I’ll bet it struck you, too, didn’t it?

Freedom from obsession is not about something you do; it's about knowing who you are. It's about recognizing what sustains you and what exhausts you. What you love and what you think you love because you believe you can't have it. ~ Geneen Roth