Stop Thinking and Start Doing to Spice Up Your Relationship

If you're like many long-term couples today, you've made mistakes which when managed, can actually spice up your relationship. These mistakes might have been big (forgetting an anniversary) or small (forgetting to pick up take-out for dinner). Mistakes are inevitable, and as unpleasant as the resulting fights can be, they actually give us valuable insight into the relationship and into our partners.

A big mistake that many people make is trying desperately not to make mistakes! This leads to over-analyzing situations that don't really require any analyzing whatsoever. Some people become so terrified of making a mistake, and causing a disagreement or fight, that they sit and think through almost everything they do.

Not only does this waste time, but it halts the growth of the relationship. A relationship involves two people, not one person and a computer. If you're sitting around and thinking through everything that you do, you're acting like a computer...cold and calculating. Would you want a partner like that? Probably not.

How to Shut Your Brain Off

This is one of those situations where it's best to just jump in and ask questions later. You'll make mistakes, and you'll learn from them. What most worriers never realize, however, is that some of these mistakes can turn out great and help spice up your relationship.

When we analyze everything about a relationship, we tend to stick with things that we know have had good results in the past. This is fine, but it can prevent new and better things from happening. Imagine if you went through your relationship, years into the future, buying your partner the same cake for your anniversary. Nothing fancy, just the same cake they've loved for years from the bakery down the street.

This cake is never going to make your partner angry. It's also, however, not going to get any new results. Imagine if you took that same flavor of cake, turned it into a three-tiered masterpiece complete with sugar flowers and elaborate icing, and presenting it to your partner while dining at a fancy restaurant you've never been to before.

Now, this could go badly. You might hate the restaurant, and your partner might find the cake gaudy and overdone. However, it could also go wonderfully, leaving your partner astonished by your thoughtfulness!

With this example, you can easily see how making mistakes doesn't have to be a disaster. We can make mistakes on purpose, just to see the reaction. Obviously, these should be small things, something that won't rock the boat too hard if it doesn't go over well. The idea, though, is to make mistakes which can let your relationship grow and evolve, instead of getting stuck in a safe, boring pattern.

Jumping In

The next time you see your partner, make mistakes. Vary the routine a little and see what happens! You may or may not be happy with the results, but your boring routine will be shaken up a bit, and that's almost always a good thing. If you're operating out of a loving, caring desire to spice up your relationship, sometimes it's necessary to make mistakes, in order to see that relationship grow!