Stress Resilience and the Role of Self Care

When you encounter a difficult time in your life, how do you bounce back? This “bounce-backability” is known as resilience, and it’s a critical part of managing adversity. Researchers are learning so much about how resilience works and they’ve just scratched the surface. Resilience is something everyone has access to, yet we aren’t born with it. Biology plays a part as well as social support. Anyone who has experienced stress, adversity, or trauma in their life can benefit by understanding their own resilience better. What is Stress Resilience? Stress resilience is the ability to adapt to difficult circumstances and bounce back (“American Psychological Association,” n.d.). Adversity part of the common human experience, something people around the world relate to. A carefree life may sound enticing on the surface, but the appeal for most would be short-lived. Challenging experiences are often considered stressful, but they can also bring meaningful and color to a person’s life. For example, grief is a complex emotional experience that can be both heartbreaking and unifying. Death of a loved one highlights an immediate and irreplaceable loss, and it also provides a unique opportunity of reflection and connection with others. The most common resilience pattern for grief begins with the initial period of emotional upset. This can range from a few days to several weeks. As the emotional sting begins to soften, the griever begins to resume some normal activities and step back into their life. Social reconnections and laughter come and go with periods of loneliness and sad feelings, but this mix is all part of a person’s resilience experience (Cavallo, Jo, 2012). Resilience is a Skill Every individual has the capacity for resilience. Because it is a learned skill, resilience can be improved and strengthened over time. One of the more important factors in this process is having a flexible mindset. When adversity strikes, a more open-minded person has a better chance of finding a creative solution to their problem. By discovering new possibilities, they can constantly rethink their situation. They generate choices for themselves and strengthen their sense of personal control. A resilient person doesn't need much actual control over their situation. They only need to perceive some level of control over their adversity in order to cope with it effectively (Baratta, Rozeske, & Maier, 2013). Defining Resilience Resilience is defined as “the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties”. This clearly describes the emotional and mental struggle of working through a difficult situation. The secondary definition of resilience is “the ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape; elasticity” (Oxford Dictionaries, n.d.). The “elasticity” part of the definition refers a physical object capable of stretching and springing its form back into shape. This definition is an interesting reminder that emotional and mental resilience often has a physical component to it. You can literally feel the impact of stress on your body when it hits. The effort it takes to endure and overcome the struggle takes physical energy and causes pain. Stress can trigger backaches, headaches, teeth grinding, and create a sense of exhaustion with everyday activities. The Role of Self-Care Sometimes physical symptoms can cause almost as many problems as the adversity itself. A person beat down and exhausted from stress likely won’t feel much energy to work through their situation. Unless they address the physical component of stress, they’re likely to be consumed with their symptoms as much as their initial problem. Resilience is also more easily built when a person is taking care of themselves physically and emotionally (“Department of the Navy Civilian Employee Assistance Program”, n.d.). Good nutrition, regular physical activity, and regular sleep play an important role in sustaining a person through a challenging situation. No matter how determined a person may be to overcome their difficulties, they’ll struggle more if their biological systems are suffering. Social support can have a major impact on a person's resilience. An individual who is well-connected with their social circles can more easily reach out for connection and help when they need it. By avoiding isolation, they reduce the risk of feeling depressed and hopeless about their problems. Spiritual wellness is another element that provides a foundation for resilience. Both private and social expressions of spirituality can be helpful in restoring a person’s strength to endure. Quiet time with nature, reading an inspirational book, attending a religious service, or exploring a creative art can all be a spiritually fulfilling experience. Change Resilience Change is one of the few things you can truly count on in the world. People age, human knowledge expands, and seasons turn. Change can be both frustrating and liberating, and people both embrace it and fight it. Even when the change is a positive on met with high anticipation, adapting to something really different can take a lot of effort and emotional energy. Becoming a new parent is both joyous and overwhelming. Moving into a new home is both exciting and tiring. Both situations require letting go of patterns and habits so that new ones can be learned. It's a lot of work for the brain and the experience can be emotional. After a time of adjustment, the brain begins to map out new habits and the new reality starts to become normal. Some details may linger from the patterns before the change, but at some point the adjustment ends and life moves forward again. Nobody can avoid change in life, but we can all become better prepared to handle it. Take a look at the following strategies for building resilience in the face of change. Keep Things in Perspective When frustration starts to set in, it’s important to remember that learning new things can take a while. Coping with change takes focus, and it’s easy to overlook how much progress a person makes from the beginning. As a person acknowledges that they might struggle for some time and feel discouraged, it won’t last forever. Keeping the adjustment period in perspective can help it seem less intimidating, and it will get better in time (Bradt, 2018). Focus on Self-Empowerment In many cases, change happens without much warning or consent. Sara got swept up in a job change she didn’t expect last month. Mike saw a health problem emerged within the last few weeks with little notice. A sudden financial problem took a deep cut into Mallory’s personal budget right before she planned to move to a different town. These people didn’t ask for the change in their lives, and they have no choice but to deal with it. To stay resilient, they will each need to look past the “hard luck” nature of unexpected change. They’ll do their best if they can narrow their focus on self-empowerment. They may feel powerless to do some things, but what CAN they still do? Sara can look for a different job by checking ads and asking around for unadvertised job opportunities. Mike can do research and ask for medical referrals in his local area. Mallory can look for part-time work to bring in extra money. Beyond these actions, they can invite others to keep them looking at the “can-do” parts of their situation and help them stay encouraged. The people in these three examples may still struggle with the problem for a while, but you would likely feel less stuck if they focus on self-empowerment (Smith, 2018). Practice Self-Care after a Major Life Change Big change can feel like a loss, even when it’s positive. It’s not uncommon to become a bit “down in the dumps” after completing a major accomplishment like moving into a new home or finishing school. While there is an obvious gain, the trade-off is giving up the familiarity of the previous situation. The loss of what known can feel uncomfortable, even if the change was intentional. A focus on the signals of distress can help prevent total overwhelm. It helps to do small things to bring comfort and relaxation. It’s not a weakness to struggle like this, and a quicker resolution to the sense of loss could lessen the discomfort. Acknowledgment of the grief associated with change is important at this early stage. Personal reflection can stimulate a new perspective on the meaning of this change. Social connection with friends and family can counterbalance the sense of loss. Good personal self-care can also support the physical aspects of resilience. Sufficient sleep, healthy nutritious meals, and regular physical activity can restore the body’s energy stores. rest, eating regular good quality meals, and getting some healthy activity each day. Anything that brings a sense of calm, security, and familiarity can help with the adjustment to change (Smith, 2018). Stay Connected with Others It's easy to think that strong people don't need anyone. But everyone goes through times of adjustment, and it's a great time to lean on people for support. Instead of trying to stay strong and go solo through this period, stay in touch with others by asking questions and sharing your experiences. This can help normalize what you were going through. Instead of being an island, you may find that you have a lot in common with others who have gone through the same thing (Bradt, 2018). Take Baby Steps Change can really knock you sideways, and suddenly it can seem like you have 100 problems to deal with. Instead of trying to tackle all of them at once, just take baby steps. It's nearly impossible to hold dozens of problems in your mind all at once with any hope of addressing them. You'll easily get overwhelmed and find yourself floundering. Instead, choose a few small things to accomplish and build from there. You will improve your confidence and your sense of control, helping you to deal with bigger issues more easily (Bradt, 2018). Laugh it Off One of the most effective ways of relaxing the body is to laugh. It may seem counterintuitive when a person is feeling stress from all directions, but humor is a classic approach to dealing with difficult times. Even when a person’s situation is fairly serious, humor can be found in the briefest of moments. It may not take much to trigger laughter, but just that small measure of relaxation can release tension in the body and boost endurance (Bradt, 2018).