Ten Ways to be More Attractive

* I so wanted this to be a brief, quirky, interesting article... maybe four, five hundred words tops.nA thousand words later... here it is.nI can't help myself.nI think I talk too much.nI need help.nnSchool report from 1977:n"Craig has a propensity to be somewhat verbose and distracting in class".nnSo not fair.nSo misunderstood.nnOkay.. that's it.nI'm gonna do my best to be more concise.nMaybe I need to take a workshop.nOops.. I'm still doing it.nI'm still adding words aren't I?nOkay, that's it.nI'm done.nnReally.nOkay, one more.nBugger.. that was three.nnHave you ever noticed how ugly some people are?nnSeriously.nFeral.nnCompletely unattractive.nRepulsive even.nStinky, stanky, skanky.nYuck.nnNow before you all recoil in shock, horror and disgust at my new level of political incorrectness (it's a word... now), I best mention that I'm not talking about anyone's looks or appearance here, but rather... their behaviour, their disposition, their attitude, their language and their habits.nnSome people (even some of the the 'beautiful people'... although that subject is a whole post by itself... what is beauty anyway?) repel, rather than attract.nnAnd while it may seem ironic that the aesthetically-challenged, forty three year-old, ex-fat kid should give advice on improving one's attractiveness... keep in mind that I'm not talking about 'how to be a hottie 101'... that's next week.nnAnd I won't be writing it.nnNo, this post is actually about learning to become one of those people that others want to hang around, be with, talk to, get to know.nnSome people are attractive.nnThat is, they attract.nnGuys, girls, old, young.nPeople just enjoy being around them.nThere's something about them that's appealing, magnetic.nPeople want to get to know them.nThey're funny, they're engaging, they're charismatic.nThey're likable.nThey smell good. (read on)nnHere goes:nn1. Listen to people and be genuinely interested.nThis doesn't mean simulated interested and manufactured head nodding either.nThis takes real time, energy and effort.nIf you want people to be drawn to you... you need to be all about them, not you.nTalk to them... not at them.nHave conversations... don't give lectures.nSome people are ugly because the only voice they enjoy the sound of, is their own.nAnd the only opinion that matters is theirs.nn2. Get in shape.nWe know that attractiveness is largely not about the physical, but if you genuinely want to attract then being in shape ain't gonna hurt.nNot Mr Universe... or Miss world... just fit and healthy.nBeing in shape (physically) also helps us emotionally and psychologically, which in turn makes us more attractive!nClever that.nn3. Personal grooming and hygiene.nOkay this is my last comment on the physical but it's necessary.nIt doesn't matter if we look like Angelina or Brad... if we've got breath like a Buffalo and armpits like a Yak... we're attracting nobody!nFor goodness sakes, how can some people not smell themselves ! !nI regularly talk to people who stink (and not just 'cause I own gyms)... and everyone except them knows.nWhen I'm chatting to someone with stinky breath (I mean, "have you got a dead marsupial in your mouth" stinky), I can't concentrate.nI can't think about anything except the smell.nIt distracts me.nn"Hey Tiger.. you know that layer of white crap on your tongue.. it STINKS!"nnClean your teeth, fart breath !nnWater, soap, shampoo, toothpaste.. all cheap and easily accessible resources; give 'em a go.nn4. Be an optimist.nThis doesn't mean don't be practical and don't be a realist... but nobody wants to hang out with Mr (or Mrs) woe-is-me-my-life's-so-hard. Hey.. I care about global warming but I don't want to have a three hour conversation with you about why the world is ending next week and who's fault it is. Yes we live in a nasty, dysfunctional, scary world... but what if we decided that it's actually an amazing, exciting, incredible place with infinite opportunities for those who dare to be different.nWhat if we decided to see the good rather than search for (and focus on) the bad.nNow that... is attractive.nn5. Have fun with people.nRemember fun?nRemember laughter?nRemember laughing so hard you thought you'd be sick or die from lack of oxygen.nThose were the days.nRemember when fart jokes were funny.nBefore we got all mature, politically correct, precious and easily offended.nPeople who laugh and have fun are cool to be around.nn6. Don't lose your temper.nBad tempered people are ugly.nThey repel, not attract.nThis doesn't mean don't get angry.nAnger has a place.nBut out-of-control, ranting, raving, unreasonable idiots need a (loving) slap.nnI'll do it!nnIf you have anger management issues, address them.nOr if you need me to slap you...nn7. Random acts of kindness.nGenerous, selfless, thoughtful, kind people are the most attractive.nNo agenda, no crap.nJust kindness.nn8. Get Spiritual.nNot to be confused with... get weird and freaky.nThis suggestion definitely needs a disclaimer.nGetting spiritual (whatever that means for you) can make you more attractive.nOr not.nIf your spiritual journey results in you being more centred, balanced, calmer, more insightful and happier.. well then that's cool.nnConversely, if it means that you end up being some weirdo, fanatical, super-religious, zealot living in some subterranean bunker surviving on canned food and crawling out of your hole at night to communicate telepathically with your brothers from another galaxy... maybe not so cool!nOr if it means hurting or hating someone who has different spiritual beliefs to you, not cool.nAt all.nn9. Be confident.nNot to be confused with being arrogant.nQuiet confidence is attractive.nn10. Be humble.nDefinitely one of the most universally attractive and desirable qualities.nHumility is a decision, an attitude, a philosophy.nA way of living, being and communicating.nIt's attractive.nnnNow, I'm gonna go and tell that guy where I buy my paper about the white crap on his tongue and why he's got no buddies.nAnd don't get me started on that stuff in the corner of his mouth.nWhat is that?nnSee ya.